T.T.F.N.

Ta ta for now (that's what T.T.F.N. stands for).

I'm signing off for 2008 today, given that no doubt I'll be too busy with all the wacky japes and scrapes over Christmas to write anything legible in English. We might squeeze in a show before Hogmanay but I thought it best to tie things up now just in case.

Alan and I can't thank you enough for all your interest, support, encouragement and comments since we started our little venture in August. Since we started we've already had thousands of downloads and have even started building a wee community here and on Facebook & MySpace, a community which we hope to strengthen to a healthy proportion next year.

So 2009 promises to be at least a half decent year for the podcast. I'll be looking to blog a bit more and dupe a serious number of blog-likin' folks over here to comment, although I readily accept that having read all the comments by the blog-likin' folks I've duped to come over and comment, Alan will no doubt begin to rue the day he agreed to join in with this whole debacle (if he hasn't already, that is).

Have a great festive break on us therefore, and unless we do manage to scoop out for you another bucketful of dry, putridly hungover comedy before the year's out, we'll see you again in '09, which we hope of course will become known, mainly as a result of our sterling efforts, as The Year The Laughter Stopped.

Yours aye...

It's all in the list

I wonder who devised the first Top Ten List.

My gut feeling is that whoever did write the first one, well, it was probably written during the formative years of Mesopotamia, the earliest known complex civilisation thousands of years B (Before) C (The Big Man).

So that's way before the Ten Commandments, and even more way before I started writing to Santa Claus.

It could have been a list of laws, of people, maybe of groceries. It could have contained any number of things, well, 10 things in any event. It could even have just represented the only 10 words in the written language that existed at the time.

Either way, the Top Ten List has its place in history. Since the first, many have been written, debated, fought over. It's become quite important really, and if the world needs anything in these credit-crunched, axis-of-evilled, environmentally-doomed times, it's the ability to collect what we know or what we want into a list, something that can be ticked off to make us feel a little safer.

It's all in the list.

As we near the demise of 2008 therefore, I've been mulling over my own Top Ten List, and how you can look at the year in any number of ways.

For example, here's one way:

1. Holiday to Portugal was cancelled.
2. Car rolled into Loch Lomond and was written off.
3. Our other car coughed and spluttered and we had to cough and splutter up £1,300 to fix it.
4. Oven broke, had to buy a new one.
5. Boiler took a turn for the worse.
6. Fridge/Freezer met an untimely death, as did the contents.
7. Our satellite TV took on a mind of its own and now works whenever it feels like it.
8. As with most of you out there, money's been tighter than usual this year.
9. I've never been busier at work.
10. The weather's been nothing but pants for most of the year.

But then, here's another:

1. Ourselves, our family & friends are healthy and, for the most part, happy.
2. We've enjoyed a busier and more enjoyable social life than ever.
3. We've managed to get away on a few holidays, despite one having been cancelled.
4. The website's pulling in thousands of visitors a month & increasing all the time, even though I've had hardly any time to write on it.
5. We started the podcast and again have attracted thousands of listeners already, with the Facebook and MySpace sites growing every day (remember to join if you've not done so already).
6. I've never been busier at work!
7. We saw our mates getting married in Andalucia.
8. With all the things in the other list, has come some great stories to tell.
9. We've had some great Christmas lunches & dinners already and the big one's still to come.
10. Having enjoyed a packed year we've a superb 2009 to look forward to.

So like I say, it's all in the list, and it's up to you to choose what to put in it.

I couldn't tell you who wrote the first Top Ten List, or even the second, but what I can tell you is that I can't wait to see what next year's will include.

(hopefully something a bit more amusing, you might say...)

Hinterland Festival Glasgow 2009

The first 30 bands have just been announced in the line up for the new Hinterland Festival in Glasgow next year.

85 Bears, Brother Louis Collective, Come on Gang!, Copy Haho, Dananananaykroyd, Edie Sedgwick, Fangs, Findo Gask, Galchen, Geordi La Force, Hudson Mohawke, Isosceles, Lesser Panda, Manda Rin, Micachu, Mitchell Museum, My Tiger My Timing, Oh, Atoms, Pearl & the Puppets, Pulled Apart By Horses, Punch & The Apostles, Tommy Reilly, Remember Remember, Rustie, The Xcerts, These Monsters, Three Trapped Tigers, We Have Band, We Were Promised Jetpacks, and Zoey Van Goeyc.

Head over to hinterlandfestival.com to get your single ticket that'll get you into any of the events. It's promising to be yet another fantastic addition to next year's calendar.

Isn't a hinterland the inland region lying behind a port though? - I'm sure someone's got an explanation about what all this has to do with the Glasgow music scene...

The Ninth: "Jesuses"

The Ninth: "Jesuses".

In what proves to be a difficult Christmas show for Alan who sits in mourning for his dead fish, we try to cheer him up by reminding him about all the festive parties and Carol Vorderman singing in Glasgow this Yuletide. We also cram in some new features introducing the Broons and a breathtaking 30 second newsround, we start a campaign to rid Chris Hoy of his BBC Sports Personality of the Year award, and wonder why Al the crazy Shi'ite reporter didn't throw a third shoe at George Bush. All such nonsense is put to one side however, when Alan tells us his full-proof plan to win Deal or No Deal.

Happy Christmas everyone, and we hope to be in your ears again before the year is out. And remember Alan's promise if we get to 100 members in our Facebook Group - FIRE IT OVER to all your friends and let's see what happens.

Recordarama

We'll be recording The Ninth tonight, comedy-permitting.

Thanks and welcome to all the new members of our Facebook Group and MySpace page - we're beginning to think that other people might have at least a passing interest in what we're up to here, and that can only be a dangerous state of mind for us to be in.

World domination awaits us...

I want a car for Christmas

So we had our work Christmas do on Friday. It was at the Cruin restaurant on the shores of Loch Lomond. The very same place my car rolled itself into the water a few months back.

Someone asked the DJ to play a special request song for me.

I was asked to stand up as the restaurant was told the story, and then he played Cars by Gary Newman.

Embarrassing.

Christmas Listless

I'm just back from a few days off work.

During those days, for want of a better way to put it, all I'll say is that my inners became, at least temporarily, my outers.

It wisnae pretty.

I've taken the view that it was just my system getting itself ready for the implosion of festive indulgence that's been gathering force over the last few weeks. Putting Hogmanay to one side, I've counted that I'll be plying myself with Christmas dinners on no less than six times this year. Turkey and trimmings every time, of course.

Does anyone have some milk to line my stomach?

Who nicked Santa?

This is another wee photo from Glasgow's George Square, but who stole Santa?

A friend for Christmas

Hello there.

You can find me in a quiet corner of George Square in Glasgow. It's a great place really, everyone's having so much fun with the ice rink, the big stage with all the happy music, all the wee stalls selling roasting chestnuts and Festive stuff like that, and the carnival rides that make my eyes go all dizzy just looking at them!

I'm a bit shy with all this excitement though, and it's been quite difficult getting to speak to anyone. People just pass me by and take my picture, so if I'm feeling a bit self-conscious I'll usually try and hide behind my favourite tree.

It would be quite nice if someone stopped and had a chat with me, but I don't want to worry anybody. I just think it'd be brilliant if I had a little friend, even if just for Christmas.

The circle widens...

Buzzed by the gradual surge of new members to our little Facebook Group, we've now thrown up a sprightly page on MySpace.

You can find it here and even if you've already joined us at Facebook you can feel free to become our friend at MySpace - I promise it won't hurt!

And remember to FIRE IT OVER to all your friends once you've joined us.

The Eighth: "Pantomimes"

The Eighth: "Pantomimes".

As we all know, size does matter, so in this, our shortest episode to date, you'll understand pretty soon that it's what we do with it that counts. Bundled snugly into our small package therefore, you'll hear us wonder why Scotland chooses not to celebrate our patron St. Andrew as much as you'd expect, and you might begin to wonder why struggling writers all around the country haven't yet snapped up Alan's fresh concept for a Festive Pantomime. In the main however, this episode's all about Alan, and in this exclusive, unscripted interview with our reclusive, troubled star, you'll have the privilege of unearthing a few of his dark and disturbing secrets.

Thanks for listening, and given that we forgot to mention it in this episode, we're starting a new recruitment campaign called FIRE IT OVER - in the next week, we'd appreciate it if you would join our Facebook Group at www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=45951280621, and once you've done that, FIRE IT OVER to all your friends and invite them to join. If you can get one person to download the podcast, we promise you'll feel better for it! Once the Group begins to look a bit more healthy in terms of numbers, we plan to record a special bonus exclusively available to the Group, so if you've not joined up already, head on over and join our growing legions.

Spread the word

We've been settling in over the last few episodes, finding our feet, but now it's time to get serious about building a community of love around our little podcast.

This week when we record The Eighth, we'll be starting a new campaign to get our good word out and about. What we'd like you to do this week is to tell at least 1 person about the podcast and get them to download it.

Tell them to look for it in iTunes or send them the link. Tell them to Google “For the Love of G…lasgow”. If you listen to the podcast in the street or on public transport, hey, why not tap someone on the shoulder and tell them what you’re listening to – give them your iPod if you like!

Either way, just get one person to download the new episode, and let’s start building some momentum.

To give you an incentive to join our growing gang of weirdos, here's another great way to do it:

1. Join Facebook for free if you’ve not done so already.
2. Go to Groups in Facebook, and search for ours – For the Love of G..lasgow.
3. Click on Join this Group.
4. Then Click on the Share button or the link to Invite People to Join, and share it with all your friends.
5. And if you follow these steps and the Facebook Group begins to grow, we'll record a special bonus show exclusive to the Group and not available elsewhere for a while. I mean, the temptation!

So please pay it forward, spread the good word and let’s see if we can build a community of Glasgow-loving losers online.

Much appreciated!

The Seventh: "Heaven"

The Seventh: "Heaven".

In a continuation of the Scott Docherty Show featuring Alan Macdonald, we race through a load of nonsense in record time. Alan tells us all about how he fitted into the crowd at the recent SECC Kanye West gig, and we ramble on about our mate Jim's night terrors, divorcing trolls in Second Life and World of Warcast, the terrorist baby killer Barack Hussein, and our support of Dead Wife Daniel and Junky Rachel from the X-Factor.

We also provide after-the-fact commentary on the Scotland v Argentina match, and work out what our Official Motto should be. This is why we've experienced a meteoric rise to famedom and were recently given the award for Worst Audio Broadcast of the Year at the Scottish BAFTAs.

It's a goal!

In the words of Ray Charles...

"Here we go again".

We'll be donning our recording boots tomorrow night, mainly for two reasons:

1. At the same time our National Football Heroes (or as they're more commonly referred to, 'our National Football Failures') will be getting shreds torn from their pale, weary bodies by Diego's Argentina at Hampden Park, a sight which, although no doubt amusing, will draw only a pigment of our attention. Come on the boys!

2. And we've got nothing better to do.

There's a faint whiff of excitement in the air about the Seventh episode though. I can smell it wafting out of the impossible chasm of silence our little podcast seems to generate. Despite our venture into cyberspace attracting a pleasingly escalating number of downloads every day, the comments sections on this blog and on my website are beginning to look like what I imagine Manchester looked like following the riots earlier this year - thousands of people standing dumstruck in the aftermath.

I assume of course, that the reason for the lack of commenting is because after listening to any given episode, there's not much more for you to say. We've covered all the issues comprehensively.

I may be wrong though.

All I know is that notwithstanding the resulting tears on our cheeks, we'll record nonetheless. We'll continue to lay bare our innermost thoughts, on the understanding that we'll get nothing in return but tables of statistics.

Like I say, we've nothing better to do anyway!

Plan B

Right, well Alan and I have had a little chat.

He didn't like the use of Latin in my last post.

He wanted us to start using "street talk".

I told him I can't speak the "street talk".

He said just to stop blogging altogether.

I said I couldn't do that either.

He said if I didn't stop writing the blog he'd kill either himself or me.

I said I didn't feel comfortable with that.

So we've come to a compromise.

He's going to stop reading the blog.

Everyone's happy.

Question: Can something come from nothing?

ex nihilo nihil fit?

It's a tough one to think about really.

On a scientific level, if you've followed the evolution of the superstring theory over recent years (I mean if you've not, where have you been?!!), you'll understand that the quantum froth of tiny particles can come in and out of existence temporarily. In other words, something may well be able to come out of nothing, and this has lent itself to an explanation as to how time began.

On a slightly less scientific level, if you've followed the evolution of the For the Love of G...lasgow podcast series, you'll understand that sometimes it's been a great deal more enjoyable for our listeners when we've taken a break from recording and there's resulted a frothing gap of silence in between episodes.

You'll understand that this silence has been a good thing. In other words, something "good" has come out of the silence, out of the nothing.

So it's for this reason that whilst we should have been recording The Seventh this week, purely in the interests of developing our now famously ground-breaking 11 dimensional supersymmetric M-theory of podcasting, we've decided to give this week a miss.

We hope to be back next week with a new episode, an episode you'll hopefully gravitate towards and in which we fully intend to rip ourselves kicking and screaming from the comedic black hole that swallowed us up so ferociously in The Sixth.

Until then therefore, I'd suggest that you brush up by reading some Miemiec and Schnakenburg, so that continuing in our exploration into the origins of the universe, you'll be able to follow more easily our no doubt in-depth analysis of pandas, Gary Glitter, the credit crunch and more.

In the meantime, what did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?

Let me atom.

Eh? Eh?...

Eh?...

Aye!

Best laid plans

Once again the promise of a special bonus recording falls by the wayside, like a victim of a protracted and no doubt unjustified war.

Our mate Jim was home for a short break from his duties in sunny Afghanistan, and the initial plan had been to spread his voice like runny melting butter over the airwaves, the new toast of cyberspace, in a special podcast in which the three of us would combine as allied forces and defeat the scourge of comedy in its own backyard, a precursor for Step Two of Operation For the Love of G...lasgow, the secretive inter-governmental trade and foreign policy mechanism put in place under the pre-emptive Protocol 124585b/08 to secure petroleum pipelines, refineries and terminals in the Caspian Basin, cloaked in a masterfully appalling podcast designed to distort public perception, warp the reality of comedy until the laughter stops completely and the oil exploration contracts are all signed in silent resignation, there being nothing left in life but to sell your soul.

That was our plan.

Instead, we went out and got drunk.

So Jim's now back where he belongs, fighting the good fight for the Taliban, and you're left with myself and Alan, two young dudes in the prime of our lives, wondering with furrowed brows just what happened with Episode 6 after all that glorious work we produced in the Fifth. My first thought is that as with many young dudes in the prime of their lives, we peaked early. That it's all downhill from here.

You'd think that with such a conclusion in mind, we'd just call it quits. Save all those unsuspecting new listeners from the pain of listening to what may only be described now as like two baby boys vomiting over themselves, screeching and screaming and farting for their mothers, tugging at the pet dog who in turn howls incessantly into the night whilst scraping its claws down a chalkboard as it's too stupid to realise that it's not a door, all in a room energised by the Crazy Frog ringtone of a mobile phone vibrating its annoying existence without pause, and the drill of a dentist heaving its evil way into the mouth of a fog-horning, petrified patient.

Well, that's what the podcast sounds like to us anyway.

But either way, I'm sure we'll keep on plugging away however badly it sounds, for whose benefit I just don't know but what does that matter?

We'll record the Seventh. We'll upload it. People will download it. They'll refuse to comment. Alan will get upset. We'll stop doing it. And the whole thing will pass indifferently into the dusty annals of time until years from now, when the world has righted itself again under the guiding influence of our Almighty Overlord Obama, we'll resurface, reband, reform.

Just like Boyzone, Take That and New Kids on the Block.

And there will be rejoicing in the streets.

The Sixth: "Sense"

The Sixth: "Sense".

See what we did there? In our Hallowe'en Special we concentrate on scaring the life out of our remaining throng of Second Life weirdo listeners, by infecting the episode with our definitive guide to the US Election and our spooky take on the Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross debacle, supporting our fellow podcasters by calling during the show a certain erstwhile celebrity from Allo Allo.

We also launch our Facebook Group which can be found at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=45951280621&ref=mf, although surprisingly Alan's refusing to join as a member! There's also a few Hallowe'en Special jokes to make your day a little more disturbing than you thought possible, and if that's not enough to propel you over the edge, you can even hear all about our Glasgow Winterfest 3 month podcast we'll be doing in George Square.

Oooooooooooooh it's scary! Head over to Facebook now to join us...

Take Two...

Well, Alan and I are sitting here right now in Macdonald Mansions. We started doing the podcast. Episode 6.

We then stopped doing the podcast. It sucked. Alan's now trying to climb out the window, having purged himself of his clothing and cleansed his white, skeletal body in Fairy Liquid.

So what I'm trying to say here then is that Episode 6 remains in production. We're going to try to record it again on Friday, the Night of Hallowe'en.

Cue the baited breath...

The Fifth: "Bones"

The Fifth: "Bones".

In our brand spankingly new and pointless episode, we laugh pretty much continuously from start to finish, although after listening to it you may begin to wonder why. During certain lucid moments we manage to dribble out some nonsense about Santa singing at Hampden Park, why Kevin Keegan went back into football management after watching Scott at the Glasgow Soccer Circus, how chocolate wispas might add a new dimension to the death penalty, and how Alan would ruin Children In Need.

We also issue a serious PR statement on Hungarians, try to convince our female listeners to give Dave Hitler a go, and most drainingly, discuss the recently rumoured release of the Indiana Bones movie.

No really, this is a podcast about Glasgow!

The same old blues

Well just as I thought I'd got to grips with the crazily-complicated technology behind podcasting, I'm struck yet again with the same old blues.

The fifth and most recent episode of the For the Love of G...lasgow Podcast is now available on the website by clicking here, but that's where the good times end. The problem's with the feed, which means that until I sort the thing, the new episode will not show up on iTunes or any of the other podcast directories.

As always, I'll keep you posted, and to thank you for your eternal patience in the face of my pure ineptitude, we've recorded a wee bonus sketch which I'll release at some point soon.

Fire up the mics

Just to let you know that Alan and I will be recording the fifth episode of the podcast tonight, and that we're also planning on doing a bonus sketch just to thank you all for your interest.

For those who don't know how to comment on this blog, just have a look underneath where you see the word "comments", click it and give it laldy. The reason I mention this is because I got a message through the website the other day saying "your podcast sucks. cant even coment on blog so came hear" (the spelling ain't mine!).

So please feel free to comment all you like on this blog, head over to the website and do it there, or if you've come to the view that we put out just about the greatest podcast you've ever heard in your puff, why not fire on a review in iTunes so we can rise up to the geek-fuelled cloud of superstardom on which we deserve to rest.

I'll try and get the new episode and bonus on at some point tomorrow, so check back soon!

The Fourth: "Improvised"

The Fourth: "Improvised".

Returning after a short but eventful summer break, our fourth episode of For the Love of G...lasgow weighs in at just under 60 minutes for the first time, there being little in the way of interesting material for us to work with. So instead we yap on about cancelled holidays, cars rolling into Loch Lomond, why you should think twice before visiting a Hungarian dentist, how the credit crunch has reduced Alan to eating soil & buying shares in oven chips, and all about the importance of Glasgow's forthcoming Alcohol Awareness Week.

It promises to make you laugh out loud when you least expect it, but as we have all come to learn in this time of financial crisis, promises are merely the duplicitous propaganda of the corporate elite to shape the global political agenda. Don't worry though - we don't say anything about that kind of thing, being more concerned rather with why iTunes hates us with a passion!

Links mentioned in this episode:

The Legend of the Car and the Loch - www.top-ten-glasgow-guide.com/glasgow-holiday.html

Alcohol Awareness Week - www.alcoholawarenessweek.com/events/#glasgow

I'm back!

What a vacation!

To cut a long story short, learn here how, amongst other things, our holiday to Portugal got cancelled and our car drove itself into Loch Lomond, and you'll also see some legendary photos of the car being dragged out kicking and screaming!

We'll no doubt be yapping on about it all in our next episode, which we'll be recording next Wednesday, and I hope to get it online for download a week from today.

It's great to be back - if only because our fortnight of bad luck should hopefully have come to a cheerful end!

Yours aye...

The Third: "Pants"

The Third: "Pants".

'Pants', being the British word for the male undergarment, as well as being our word for something which ain't great (unlike this episode, funnily enough!).

In this, the glossy and much improved third episode of For the Love of G...lasgow, the official podcast of the Top Ten Glasgow Guide, we compose a lovely letter to Mr. or Mrs. iTunes in the desperate hope of becoming a featured comedy podcast. We also blabber on about Alan's return from London to a Glasgow scene akin to Dawn of the Dead, discuss amongst other things our wacky positions on anti-democracy, Michael Jackson's recording of Robert Burns poetry, and how the Japanese police force were duped so cunningly by bits of plastic.

Having tried and failed bitterly to enhance the podcast with some pictures, we still hope tragically that we've done enough in this one to get noticed by, at the very least, the cleaner at iTunes. Even if we're not though, we're absolutely sure that this one's less worse than our previous efforts!

Please remember that we're taking a short break from the podcast whilst I'm on holiday. We should be back at the start of October. Thanks for continuing to subscribe and comment in the meantime!

Tonight's the night...

Well, Alan (a.k.a. "The Talent") is back from London, and I'm heading over to his tonight to record our third episode.

Cue the cries of don't bother guys it's not worth it!

So make sure your ears are suitably free of wax and your diary's completely clear over the coming days, because I'm pretty sure that's how long our next instalment is likely to last! I'll try and get it available for download at some point tomorrow afternoon, weather-permitting, and as usual it'll appear first on the website before it starts to pop up here, in iTunes and the other directories.

Arrabest.

Let's keep those fires burning!

As the days go by we've been pretty happy to watch as the number of folks subscribing to the podcast and downloading it begins to increase.

We'll be recording the third episode of the series early next week so it'll be available for you soon. In the meantime though, if you've not heard the first two episodes yet, all you need to do is click the headings on this blog for each episode (The First: "Apologies", and The Second: "Glasgay").

Alternatively, you can subscribe to the podcast at iTunes, which will make sure you get each new episode automatically. Or subscribe to the feed or by RSS or email using the links to the right of this blog. And remember there's an archive of the old episodes on the website as well, so you're absolutely spoilt for choice when it comes to keeping up to date with us.

Next episode we're planning to crank the quality up a gear or two, which will probably mean me speaking less and letting Alan do all the work (!!), so stay tuned, comment away as much as you like, and thanks again for the interest.

Cheers.

We're cooking with gas!

Now, some may well call me a King, or perhaps on occasion "Our Great Overlord".

Sometimes it gets quite embarrassing really, all this kind of adulation. It's like, nowadays I can't walk down the street without the proletariat genuflecting or throwing rose petals at my feet.

So when I tell you that finally the second episode of the podacst now shows up on the iTunes directory, following about a week of my scratching like a wet dog at their door, you can imagine the kind of things I'll now be called in the street.

OK, so you might be thinking that'll be "loser", "weirdo", "scum of the earth", bearing in mind the swelling throng of support for the global movement to rid the world of For the Love of G...lasgow, even if we're still in our infancy!

If you'd like to join that movement, I'm pretty sure they're starting their own website soon, so I'll keep you posted...

iTunes Update

Just a quick message to let you know that I've found out a minor niggle with the iTunes Podcast Directory.

If you subscribe to the podcast at iTunes you'll automatically download each new episode as soon as we publish it, so that's the best way to stay up to date. However, if you just search for the podcast or are not subscribed, at the moment you'll only see the first episode listed in the iTunes Directory.

Apparently this is an issue which a great deal of podcasters experience, the problem resting mainly on the shoulders of Apple, but I'll try and sort it out as quickly as possible.

As I say however, if you subscribe to the podcast at iTunes, or subscribe to the blog here or even at Feedburner, you can rest assured you'll always be up to date. Alternatively, the new episodes will always be available at the website if you prefer to stay current that way. Either way, if you do come across any difficulties downloading or finding the new episodes, just let us know and we'll point you in the right direction.

Hope you're enjoying the second episode in the meantime!

The Second: "Glasgay"

The Second: "Glasgay".

In this, the second episode of For the Love of G...lasgow, the official podcast of the Top Ten Glasgow Guide, we provide you with a slightly shorter, partial improvement on our last effort. It takes a while for us to get up to speed, then we ramble 'hilariously' on about the end of the Olympics, London 2012 and our united football team, the wacky intuition of our firemen and police force, why you'll enjoy Glasgow in the coming weeks if you're a gay sectarian geek, Alan's eBay success and his mysterious popularity with unknown ladies, and we also discuss folks who write or open messages in bottles.

It really is a 'must listen' this time.

Honestly!

Keep the comments coming!

Wowsers!

Since we've been found in iTunes and started appearing in podcast directories dotted around the place, we've been getting more and more subscribers, more dowloads, more unfortunate souls destined towards psychiatric counselling following even but a faint listening to our first episode.

So please feel free to keep up the comments. Tell us what you want us to mump our gums about, ask us a question, tell us a story, or even a joke, and we'll no doubt mention you in our next episode.

In the meantime, thanks for listening and I'll let you know once we've recorded our next one.

Cheers.

We're up and running!

We've just been successfully accepted into iTunes and are beginning to climb the ranks already, so you can now search for and subscribe to the podast directly from iTunes.

I've also been submitting the podcast to a few other directories, and as part of the validation process have to include the following links, so apologies if the code gives you the heeby-geebies!

My Podcast Alley feed!{pca-3db2d43f8f20df8d6849418e435ea28e}

claim-my-podcast-in-podbean{scid-U2NvdHR5YmhveQ==-ecid}

Thanks for continuing to listen and I hope you enjoyed the first episode. Let us know what you think either way.

Cheers.

The First: "Apologies"

The First: "Apologies".

In this, the first episode of For the Love of G...lasgow, the official podcast of the Top Ten Glasgow Guide, we discuss amongst other things, pandas, the best and worst of the Olympics, the tragedy of life in Glasgow, our mate Jimmy fighting in some place called "the Taliban", death by chips and cheese, and those crazy people who comment online.

We would like to apologise for any offence that may have been caused by such chat. We apologise for the length of the podcast. And for the sound quality. And for the fact that due to the remnants of a bad cold, Scott's voice sounds like Michael Jackson. Just, well, sorry.

We'll try better next time!

And so, the editing begins...

Well, we finally pulled the magic out the bag and recorded our first podcast last night.

Yey! I hear you cry. Or is it just crying?

Over the next few days I'll be editing the thing to make it sound funny, so hopefully I'll have something approaching comedy for you to download at some point during the weekend.

(...)

The mics are here - long live the mics!

Well, I've finally got my hands on the microphones.

(cue the charcoal gasps of disappointment...)

I ended up having to collect them yesterday evening at a depot in Bellshill, and having relied on Google maps (schoolboy error) got completely lost along the way. To be frank, taking a scenic tour of Cambuslang and Blantyre in the impending darkness isn't my idea of fun, not least because for the entire journey I was in dire need to go for a wee streamie! That is, a wee wee. The toilet.

So, at one point during my increasingly-disturbing travels I stopped off at a petrol station to ask two questions:

1. Where am I?
2. Which road am I on?

I figured that if I could find out the answer to these two simple enough questions, I could find my way again on the Google Maps thing I've got on my phone.

The girl at the till, well, quite helpfully in response to those two questions, she told me that my phone was nice.

I said "Yeah thanks, it is nice. So, which road am I on again?".

She said "I've got a Nokia phone but it's broken. I'm waiting for it to get fixed."

I said "Oh right. And the road we're on?"

She said "Well, it's not been too busy today so it hasn't."

I said "Oh, hasn't it? OK, so I've really not got much time here."

She said "Right, you're the first person I've seen here for a while."...

...This went on for some time.

About 5 minutes into this distracting chat with this mutant of a girl however, some huge guy in a yellow Council jacket came in to pay for his petrol. He was quite clearly reeking of booze despite his car being parked outside with his kids in it (I'm assuming they were his!).

He said, whilst spitting his chewing gum onto his hand, "Awright mate? Whaur ye headin?"

I said "I'm just looking to find out where I am mate, and which road I'm on."

He said, a little too interested and with a plainly threatening glint in his eye, "Aye, but where ye gaun?"

I said "Bellshill Industrial Estate."

He said "Och aye, the industrial estate? Aye, well, jist heid up the road ther, take a left an ye'll see a fermer's track. Jist heid alang ther for a few miles an it'll take ye right tae the estate."

OK, well that seemed easy enough, but having some echoing doubts about these directions I said nicely to the man in the least feminine voice I could muster, "Thanks mate, but which road are we on just now?"

He said, lowering the tone in his voice and staring straight into my eye, "Aye, jist take a left up ther and go up ra fermer's track."

Right then.

I backed away, squeaking timidly to both of them "Thanks. I've got to go now. See you later..."

They just stood there in silence, eyes glazed.

Something just seemed wrong with the entire scenario. It felt like I was being set up, delayed, the "locals" watching my every move on the CCTV camera. Waiting. Sharpening the best of their cutlery in anticipation.

So I finally escaped with my life thankfully intact, found my way to the depot, collected the mics, got home, exploded in the bathroom, took a stiff drink to calm the nerves, and tried for the rest of the night to make the recording software on my laptop recognise two mics. I gave up, so for now it'll have to be one mic between myself and Alan, but having tested it with Tracey (boy do I know how to show a girl a good time!) the quality seems to be OK anyway, well, aside that is, from the whiney voice.

So we're good to go, and we'll be recording the first episode tomorrow night. Once it's done I'll have the mp3 up as quickly as I can. You'll be able to download it directly from the website or at archive.org where all the episodes will be hosted. It'll also be available for download right here on the blog, on Feedburner, and once it's accepted, at iTunes as well.

Thanks for continuing to subscribe to the podcast, and I look forward to your thoughts once we're finally on our way.

In the meantime, after my Journey of Near Death, I'm off for some counselling.

The waiting continues...

You may be [insert here the word 'happy' or 'sad'] to hear that despite my incessant broken pining and scratching at the door, the microphones have yet to arrive.

My only guess is that someone at PC World, the magical wonder emporium from whom they've been ordered, has done some digging and found out for what purpose the mics are intended, and that in a feat of manic desperation has taken them home and buried them hurriedly in a mafia-esque shallow grave somewhere in the back yard, as would perhaps, a dog with a terrible secret.

Thanks for the great comments on the new image - the general consensus seems to be that those five minutes I spent creating it weren't a complete waste of time. Regarding the comments though, I've noted that more folks are preferring to comment via the website rather than here on the blog. Maybe it's because your name doesn't show up there, but please don't be shy, we'd be more than happy if you used the blog for posting your comments, good or bad.

We were hoping to record the first podcast tomorrow night, but if the microphones still fail to turn up I think instead we'll just have to make do with watching Great Britain slip further down the medals table at the Olympics. It's quite the spectacle for those who care!

I'll keep you posted.

New Official Image?

OK, so what do you think?

I've spent, well, at least five minutes thinking up and drafting this image. I'm looking to create an image that will go onto our podcast when it's released to iTunes, so this is what you'd see in your little iPod or generic mp3 player when you download and play each episode.

If it gives you the dry boak just looking at it, don't think twice about letting me know, although I'd recommend a bucket before you ruin your keyboard.

That said, I'd be more ecstatic if you told me that its design, the simple happiness it reflects, with one sauntering gaze has given you the purpose in life you've been yearning for since birth, since the career advisers in school and their witches' brew guidance propelled you aimlessly towards decades of office block hell, towards a need to read this.

The reason for the smiley face is down to the unavoidably triumphant campaign started in Glasgow around 25 years ago, entitled Glasgow's Miles Better (or was it Glasgow Smiles Better?!!), a campaign which signalled the forceful regeneration of a City tarred for years with an unfortunate reputation borne from social depravity and the violence it bred.

And the image of the campaign was the smiley face of Mr. Happy. It was destined to succeed!

So let me know what you think.

Cheers.

The expectations of ex-pats

So I received a superb message through the website yesterday concerning the podcast.

It was from some guy called James from Los Angeles. He told me he was originally from Glasgow, and that having read the blog about the up and coming podcast, he's suddenly taken the view that he never wants to return to Glasgow again!

I mean OK, so he did put the usual cheeky parting gesture of 'Ha Ha!', but I'd like to think he meant what he said.

Subscriptions per day hit a new high yesterday (keep up the good work!), and I've been listening to other podcasts by folks like Limmy, Herring & Collins, and those crazy guys from the World of Warcast to get a feel for the true pulse of the nation. All I've surmised from them however, is that our great nation is just one sick collection of wierdos, so Alan and I should have no difficulty in becoming heroes of our time!

Arrabest.

So what to talk about...

Well, as I sit here like a sodden cabbage by the letterbox waiting for the microphones to arrive, my thoughts are beginning to turn towards what you might like to hear in our little podcasts.

Alan, now, you'll hear him rambling on about how tragic his life is in Glasgow, why he's turned to comedy to mask his inner turmoil, why his only hopes and dreams of hope lie in the impending subscriber stats for the podcast, why if no-one listens, or otherwise do listen and then listen no more as they're done listening to him and his unlistenable lists of grievances, those hopes and dreams will need to be consigned to the trash, along with the carpet in his flat that was damaged in a recent flood of tears.

So that leaves me.

Aside from attempting to curb Alan's regular flailing abuse of this and that, my initial plan is to steer the yapping around what's happening in Glasgow, the talking points in the City and why more than likely we don't care about them, nestled comfortably as we are in our lives of self-importance.

But I want to know what you'd like to hear. Anything at all and we'll give it a go, because whilst I'm absolutely certain that in time you'll cherish as you would a baby on your doorstep our narrow-minded, egocentric, poorly-researched view of the world, a view cloaked to invisibility so masterfully on my website, in actual fact we'd love to talk about what you want, because at the end of the day, we need you as a friend.

So comments and ideas would be much appreciated, and thanks again for continuing to subscribe even though we've not even recorded the first episode (Alan's positively brimming with happiness at this, so please don't pop his balloon!).

Cheersanawratbyrawayeh?

It's getting exciting!!

Since I put the last post up, I've also blogged about the new podcast on my website and have been receiving some encouraging messages even before we hit the ground running. We've already got some subscribers and I can't thank you all enough for that, although I really hope folks aren't too disappointed when they finally get to hear our pointless drivel!

Anywho, continuing on our arduous steps in preparation, the other night I finally got around to ordering some USB microphones to use on the podcast, so that at the very least, whilst our incessant chat may end up completely devoid of quality or anything approaching humour, at least it won't sound as though we're recording the thing whilst sharing a seat in the cludgie!

Once they arrive I'll have to work out how to record on Audacity with two mics, as the thought of speaking over one microphone only inches away from Alan has been keeping me awake for some time. And not in a good way.

I'll keep you posted, and if you've not done so already, subscribe away using the Feedburner link here, and if you feel the need once you've done so, a cleansing bath may rouse your mind back to sanity...

Hello and welcome

Hello, and welcome to my new blog, For the Love of G...lasgow.

This will be where with my mate Alan Macdonald (in the photo I'm to the left, he's to the right, politically we're neither here nor there!), we'll be hosting the podcast of the same name, the official podcast of my website, the Top Ten Glasgow Guide.

The first episode is on its way, so for now I'll just leave you with our little Mission Statement:

"For the Love of G…lasgow, hereinafter referred to as 'Pure Genius', is the joint venture of Scott Docherty and his good friend Alan Macdonald, two heterosexual characters living in Glasgow.

It is the official, FREE and fortnightly podcast of, as Scott would describe it, the perpetually ground-breaking blanket of poetic resonance that is top-ten-glasgow-guide.com.

The intention of our podcast is to entertain. However, it must be made clear from the outset that we might not. In publishing our regular diatribe, we will aspire to provide no benefit to the listener. Some Glasgow travel websites & podcasts seek to paint a glossy, incomplete picture of the City which belies the truth of the matter. Others focus on Glasgow being similar to Basra, the Helman Province, Sarajevo, our streets littered with non-educated delinquents, and litter.

Our 'Pure Genius' however, will reside somewhere in between, leaving listeners with no impression of Glasgow whatsoever, providing no useful information, our ultimate aspiration being to make no difference at all to anyone, whilst at the same time, leaving every listener with the unmistakable desire to meet us and become our friend, expanding what may only be described as our tragic, ever-decreasing social circle.

Please join us. No really, please."

Check back soon for the first episode, and in the meantime, please feel free to visit the website.

Arrabest,


Scott