Arrabest

Well that's it for another year.

We're signing off for 2009 and the end of the first decade of the 21st Century.  You'll be glad to know that we'll be back again next year for a second series of purile nonsense, lots of empty chat about nothing, basically more of the same rubbish you've come to hate us for.

I'm waiting to get delivered a wee fandangly bit of hardware that'll allow us to video our pointless diatribe and post it onto iTunes and all the other places we shouldn't be allowed, so at some point in early 2010 you'll be able to watch us rip shreds in the fabric of comedy rather than simply listen to us.

Sounds great eh?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

In the meantime, make sure you keep up the momentum of our richly-successful Booze for Scotland campaign by getting completely sozzled oot yer coupon over the festive period (only responsibly, of course), and we'll see you again soon.

Oh, and if you do choose to go booze crazy in the coming weeks, here's a wee link to help you yack it all back up again!

A break's a break for aw that!

Just a wee note here to let you know that we're taking a wee break from the podcast.

Call it the end of The First Series: "Bored" if you wish, but we're both concentrating on our respective solo projects for a bit.  I'm doing a new podcast called Glasgow Generations with my Dad, and Alan's planning something far more exciting which I'm not allowed to tell you yet!

We hope to end the first series by doing a wee video to tie things up, well, that is, once I work out how to do a wee video to tie things up, and no doubt I'll post it up on the blog, YouTube, the ol' Top Ten Glasgow Guide and wherever else I can fit it in before anyone notices.

Until then, Alan and I would like to thank what's turned out to be the thousands of listeners to the show who've tuned in and / or commented during the first 25 episodes.  It's been nothing less than an absolute joy to watch Alan grow older with each passing show, and we hope to be with you again very soon.

Arrabest!

The Twenty Fifth: "Bushmonkey"

The Twenty Fifth: "Bushmonkey".

'This is it', as they famously say. After an honest fortnight's break comes our Quarter of a Century Episode, and to celebrate we take you painstakingly through a 12-part quiz (well, 12-ish anyway) on how our pointless little show has changed the world since it was yanked screaming from a womb barren, oh so barren of classic gold comedy. Featured in this one is much insightful nonsense on crazy millionaire Marlon King, the toothloined Mohandas Karamchand Ghandi, each and every one of the X-Factor contestants and their leering, flash-prone stalkers, and a bit about Guy Fawkes that we may have cut and pasted from last year's Bonfire episode.

We also mourn the passing of a certain young Mr. Gately and invite you to take part in our new competition to win 300 gold dust sydney Devine tickets. Our music this week comes courtesy of the up and coming Pocket Gods (www.myspace.com/thepocketgods), so strap yourself in and we'll definitely see you once again in a 'fortnight'.

Once more unto the beach?

Naw, because we're back from our break and (provided I can bend Alan's arm enough tonight) we should be recording the new episode of the podcast on Tuesday.

Mark my word, it'll be our best yet.

When I say "mark my word" though, that actually means "totally ignore me as I'm talking nonsense".

Why not have a final listen to the 24th in the meantime. It'll be the best thing you do all day. And when I say "it'll be the best thing you do all day"...

A commendable work ethic?

OK, so today's when you would normally expect to be able to download the new episode of the show. However, because of some unforeseen circumstances including, but not limited to, Alan having done zero preparation for the show over the weekend by dint of his recently incessant booze-craziness, and my having no voice whatsoever following a knock-out dose of the man-flu, I'm afraid you'll just have to wait a little longer for The Twenty Fifth.

I'm actually due to head off to Portugal for a quick bout of sun before the winter blows in, our second attempt after our last booking there was cancelled when the flight company went bust last year, so hopefully the next show will be with you before the end of October, just in time for another tragic Hallowe'en special I'm sure!

In the meantime, feel free to listen to the last show if you haven't already, and fire us your comments to fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com.

The Twenty Fourth: "Rats"

The Twenty Fourth: "Rats".

As we wind down our first full day in cyberspace (OK, so that's sweeping to one side the fact that most of our shows last less than an hour, so really, even though this is the 24th episode, there's not been 24 hours worth of material, certainly not comedy material anyway, and also the fact that for each of these 24 episodes it's taken us at least 8 solid hours of yapping, weeping and editing to get the show down to less than an hour, so really for us, taking all that time into consideration, in fact we're in our 3rd year of doing this whole shambles of a tragic podcast), we talk about stuff.

Stuff like crippled rats, extinctified pandas, the Strictly Come Dancing versus X Factor drama, the ever-poetic deaths of Patrick Swayze and Keith Floyd, and the fact-based fact that Ricky Gervais revealed live on air on TV and everything that he listens to this show. The rising-like-yeast-on-speed Shimmer play for us once again, back by popular demand (www.myspace.com/shimmeruk), and thanks for tuning in. As usual, send us your own nonsense to

fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com.

Our first celebrity listener

So we'll be recording again tomorrow night, barring any untimely deaths or inexplicable rashes, and the next episode of the show will be ready for your ears on Wednesday.

It promises to be a shorter one this time, with the unpolished, unabashed feel of unpreparedness, but at the very least if you download it you'll be sure to find out the identity of our first celebrity listener.

At this point, and to keep your anticipation teetering on the edge of its no doubt anxiety-laden chair, I won't reveal the identity of this person. I'd rather you downloaded the show and listened to find out, basically because the identity of this major A-List celebrity is one whose talent for comedy the whole world is familiar with, so to let you know who it is in advance would be to ruin it's Ricky Gervais.

OK, so you dragged it out me. It's Ricky Gervais, the identity of our first celebrity listener, the identity of our first A-List celebrity listener who admitted on American TV the other night that he listens to our little podcast from Glasgow.

Yes, Ricky Gervais.

I can just imagine him now, Ricky Gervais, our first A-List celebrity listener, drawing doodles of weird animals while listening to Alan reveal all about his travels in Europe, wondering why his own podcast could possibly be downloaded more than ours.

So thanks for your admission on live TV the other night Ricky Gervais. We promise to mention you in the next show so you can tell all your friends.

The Twenty Third: "Eurotripped"

The Twenty Third: "Eurotripped".

We're back refreshed from a non-earned break, that is, a break that wasn't earned, and to drill home the point we've come up with our first show for a while lasting more than an hour. Yup, that's one full hour of pure, unadulterated comedy. You'll find it packed to the nines with Alan's important lessons from his trip to Europe and around Glasgow, the death of a Kennedy Dynasty and British Justice following the capture of Big Bob Megrahi, an unforgetable poem from Paul Gascoigne, and why we shouldn't be too worried about winning the War on Terror.

Happy Birthday to Scott's Inglorious Mum, and thanks to all our listener and fan for being patient while we've been away, especially those in Southampton. Call us. No, really...call us...

We also provide some live after the fact commentary of Andy Murray losing at the US Open, and our Glasgow music of the week comes courtesy of the increasingly popular Norquay (www.myspace.com/norquaymusic).

Drums and Rolls Please

Yes, the moment you may have dreaded the most in the last few weeks - the day has come to announce that in fact, despite many having demanded it, we've not met a gruesome, untimely death.

Alan's now back fresh and refreshed from his wallet-wearying Eurotrip, and I'm absolutely ecstatic at the thought of ending my brief adjournment in social networking. We'll be recording the new episode of the podcast next week, hopefully on Tuesday so it should be available to download on Wednesday.

As you might remember, the last show pretty much tailed off at the end as we staggered over its finishing line, and revealed just how drained and in need of a break we were at the time. You'll be glad to know however, that we've put the memory of that sorry experience behind us now. You'll be glad that the hearts are pumping once again and we're 100% raring to go.

So thanks for the messages of concern we've been getting in the meantime. If you want any mentions on the next show, just email us at -

fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com

and you may very well end up hearing your name. And your message. Through our voices. In a podcast you can keep forever. I mean, how about that?

OK, so all of this pretend excitement may just be as a result of my winning our local pub quiz last night rather than the thought of recording once again, but who cares anyway, right?

I'm the big winner!

The Twenty Second: "Rosie"

The Twenty Second: "Rosie".

With the greatest of thanks to Audacity, that most wizard of editing tools, and to Our Rosie, the winner of our last competition to whom this show is now dedicated (and who's definitely better than a convicted murderer), comes a brandly spanktuous new episode of this most tragic of podcasts. We wonder this time at the bold attempt by Fagan to force Oliver into swindling MJ's Paris, give praise to the passing of Patch Adams and Last Tommy Lee, and as always, spew out some pointless reviews of movies and restaurants, this time including Glasgow's The Loft, WB Yeats' Wine Lodge and Danny Zuko's new comeback movie The Taking of Pelham 123. Our Glasgow music this week comes courtesy of the superb Dr Flaw, and we leave you with some memories of Faith No More before Andrew Ridgeley was booted out the band.

See you after Alan return's from finding himself in Europe, and thanks again to all the other great entrants to our competition.

Wait for it...wait for it...

Just in case you didn't get the message on our Facebook Group and are wondering when the next show will be available, due to some unforeseen circumstances we won't be recording the Twenty Second until 11th August, so it should be available to download the next day.

So please keep all the comments and emails coming in and if you've not entered the Twenty First Competition yet, well, you'll be like most of our other listeners!

Feel free to listen to the last show over and over again until the new one's out.

A year down the line...

...and look what we've achieved.

Erm.

Yeah, so anyway, this week marks a whole year we've been doing this whole For the Love of G...lasgow podcasting debacle. Our first post on this most tragic of blogs was on 31st July last year, and the first episode went out a few weeks later. Since then we've recorded another 20 shows in an almost fortnightly fervour of aimless comedic proportion.

Doesn't time pass when you're having fun, eh?

Aye, and you guessed it - it's dragged in for us!

Over the year we've gradually been picked up by the search engines and podcast directories, been listed as a featured comedy podcast in iTunes, become the most popular current Glasgow podcast and as a result, attracted a whole lotta listeners to whom we've got to give some credit, given your commendable loyalty in the face of brutal, dark side organisations like the BBC and Absolute Radio, who seem to have taken the idea of independent podcasting and carved it into pieces.

So as we sit here plotting how to overthrow the big guns by improving our little show beyond recognition, we'd just like to thank all of you for making this whole venture into cyberspace worthwhile. Keep the emails, tracks and photos coming in to

fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com

and why not give us a wee review on iTunes whilst you're at it - who knows, if you do you might end up winning our Official Stein Mug and having a full show dedicated entirely to you (listen to the 21st episode for more info or visit the Facebook Group).

Cheersanawratbyraway, and we'll be recording the new show soon enough.

The Twenty First: "Moonings"

The Twenty First: "Mooning".

Sorry about the late show due to the Springsteen and subsequent swine flu, but you can rest assured that this one was worth the wait. In our longest show for a while, we lament the passing of a national hero, review the new Frank Bruno Movie, the audio-described Transformers: Revenge of the Falling Earth Movie, the Hermione's Development Movie, and some place called Ketchup. We also debate the truth of the moon landings, whether Alan should be renamed Captain Birdseye and introduce our tragic Twenty First Competition.

Our Glasgow band of the week are the energetic Tenemants
(www.myspace.com/thetenemants) and we also cram in a great track sent in by one of our loyal listeners. Enjoy...

Bruce Springsteen in Glasgow and some snotty apologies

We were due to have been recording the new show tonight, a day late as I was at the Bruce Springsteen gig at Hampden Park Glasgow last night, but I've woken up feeling not unlike a poorly swine flu victim - snotty, sneezy, weak, over-reacting.

So I'm afraid we've pushed back the 21st episode to Sunday, and it should be available to download on the same day. In the meantime, keep the comments and emails coming in (fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com), and as soon as the blood disappears from inside my eyeballs I'll be sure to take a look at them.

As for Springsteen, yet another outstanding gig!

The man fair puts in a shift - played for three solid, sweat-invoking hours without a break, which isn't bad for a wee laddy turning 60 this year (bearing in mind how broken I looked just having walked home from the gig!).

He and the legendary E Street Band, including the mighty favourite Clarence "Big Man" Clemons who got a roar every time he even moved, entertained a typically deafening Glasgow crowd (I've never seen so much of the audience at Hampden cram onto the pitch despite having seated tickets - a reflection I'd imagine of the effort & energy coming from the stage) with some of his spell-binding classics, but other than Born to Run, the standout for me was what could be only best described as a Song for the Credit Crunch - Hard Times Come Again No More - a working class song sung by a working class hero for a working class City in need of a break.

(as Alan would say, songs from the streets - the lyrics could easily be about his own tough upbringing in Bearsden!)

Near the end of the gig, having seen the whole band revel in & appear pretty surprised by the pulsating waves of energy from the crowd throughout the gig, Springsteen said that next time they won't wait so long to come back.

Aye pal, if you're no back next year ah'll be ragin!

Put all that nonsense to one side though. The thing that really won it for me last night was all the wacky guys walking around on the pitch selling booze to the drunken masses, with some wacky contraption on their back I'll be yapping about on the next show, hopefully having purloined one for myself in the meantime!

So until then I'm off for a lie down and a quick check of the NHS site to see how long I've got...

I'm 90% Hetero!!!

I knew it!

I just totally knew it!!

I told you not to listen to Alan and his views on my sexuality. Now who's laughing?!!

I took the Stockholm Pride test you can do until 2nd August, and it analyses your Twitter feed to check your use of words most likely used by, well, non-heteros.

And look at that!

Alan might comment that most of what I do online is "Gay!", but there's the proof! There's the proof! - Right there!

Eh?

Eh?

Aye. I'm off to convince my parents.

It's competition time

We'll soon be recording our 21st show, and to thank all the new listeners who've flocked to us since we've been listed by iTunes as a featured comedy podcast, as well as all those who've been with us for a while, on the new show we'll be introducing The Twenty First Competition.

Sounds interesting, doesn't it?

Well OK, so maybe it doesn't. God you guys are so hard to please!

So here's the thing. Tune in to our next show which should be available a week today (I'll remind you nearer the time in case something more important pushes your back-breaking excitement to one side), and we'll give you details on how to qualify for a chance to win what can only be described as the best prize we've ever given away on the show.

Yes OK I know, we've never given a prize away on the show before. Do you have to look into every bold statement I make?!!

Whatever. New show. New competition. New prizes. New winner. And I can safely say that Alan's never been more pumped with yet another of my tragic additions to the podcast!

And you can still listen to the 20th episode over and over until then...

The Twentieth: "Lionel"

The Twentieth: "Lionel".

To be honest, it was supposed to be called "Michael", but you'll soon see why that wouldn't have been entirely appropriate. In our first landmark show we cycle furiously through our place in the history of iTunes, our thoughts on Wacko Jacko, Farrah Fawcett and Not Dead Goldbloom, and come to rest in Wimbledon & the coronation of Sir Andy Murray.

There's also some anti-racism thrown in for giggles, a premature review of a floating Glasgow restaurant, a disappointing Take That Circus at Hampden Park, and our independent Glasgow band this time around is the fantastic Hollow Horse (www.hollowhorse.co.uk).

Happy Birthday Dad, long live Lionel Ritchie!

The show must go on

Michael is no longer with us, but we'll place our devastation to one side and press on in his honour.

Our 20th show will be recorded tomorrow night and should be available to download by Wednesday. I'm not sure what we'll be talking about, and suspect that it might end up being just a 50 minute silence.

Either way, I'll Be There and so will Alan.

Eh? ...Eh? ...

Eh? ...

Aye.

Rest in Peace Michael

All jokes aside here - I'm absolutely gutted.

Music taste has always been subjective - you either like the sound of something or you don't, and everyone's free to choose what to listen to. I've also taken the view that when it comes to numbers, record sales and downloads can never be relied on to prove that a band or musician has talent or not.

That said, sometimes numbers don't lie.

In this era of music, when 2 million sales or downloads can make you the biggest selling artist of the year, Michael Jackson is estimated to have sold over three quarters of a billion records over his career. What do you think that number tells you? What do you think the awards, the first-evers and all the record-breaking tell you? I've always raised a smile when his newer albums have been deemed failures because they've sold less than his prior work, even though their figures still blow every other act out the water and their sound still reverberates in the music of those acts considered more relevant than him today.

This generation has largely missed out on Michael Jackson, and despite the huge number of musicians in popular music today citing him as having been a major influence, despite much of today's sounds portrayed as unique & fresh by an increasingly myopic music industry having in fact been fashioned by him decades ago, despite all that, for the main part when this generation thinks of Michael Jackson, regretfully it's not the music which first springs to mind.

Despite being a fan of blues and rock, I grew up loving his music, wanting to be him, lapping up every record, every MTV appearance & Pepsi advert, screaming at the sensationalist news channels more concerned with his personal life, watching & re-watching increasingly fuzzy video tapes of his live performances. The first record I ever bought was Thriller, and in 1992 I was lucky enough to see him live at Glasgow Green. I've been to hundreds of gigs since then but that one sticks more than most in my memory, the image of him ending Man in the Mirror before flying off on a jet pack into the night - we all knew it wasn't him but what a spectacle that show was.

I listen to the older generation go on about Elvis, who died just after I was born. I hear them, even years after his death, mourn the passing of such a strongly influential light in music, wonder what he'd have achieved had he lived as long as he should have done. I listen to the music he produced and think about how great it still sounds, how breathtaking it must have sounded in the context it was created.

But I wasn't there!

I didn't experience the thrill of seeing his career unfold, so while yeah, I can tap along to his work and hear all the stories about how he changed the world, I'll never understand what it was like to have been there when it all happened.

Michael Jackson was our Elvis. I mean, I know that's not exactly a new revelation, but for me, all I can think about is just how lucky I've been to have borne witness to the career of one man whose music changed us all (even those who don't admit it & scorn his very existence). I think that the next generation might see him in the same way I see Elvis, and that it'll never have the chance to experience first-hand that kind of thrill, that magnitude of talent that transcends every colour, creed and border & completely reshapes the face of music.

The ticket refund I'm now expecting from his London gigs will be the least welcome money I've received for some time! Some truly depressing thoughts really, but I think I'll go and listen to some of his albums and cheer myself up!

Thanks Michael, and rest in peace.

Good Luck Sir Andy Murray!

It's Pimm's o'clock and I'm oozing fat strawberries because it's finally here.

Wimbledon 2009. The Championships. The theatre of dreams. The roof that keeps out the rain. The players who play tennis. In Wimbledon. For prizes and money and that.

As you all know, Sir Andy Murray is a great Friend of the Show, and Alan & I would like to take this opportunity to wish him the very best of luck in this season's tournament.

Let's hope Chris Hoy doesn't conspire to ruin Sir Andy's chances once again.
Let's hope the BBC mention that he's Scottish if he wins, rather than only when he loses.
Let's hope that WHEN Sir Andy beats "Pretender to the Throne" Federer in the final, it tops last year's final as the best ever match.
Let's hope I don't lose my job for watching the whole thing on a big screen in the office, dressed head to toe in my tennis gear.
Let's hope the female players don't wear shorts again.

Let's hope...and believe!

Do you believe?

Russell Howard and Glasgow and Painting Elephants with Tippex and Stuff

Having lapped up some outstanding gourmet burgers and at Ketchup in Shawlands, we went to see Mock the Week's Russell Howard last night at the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall, supported by the brilliant Mark Oliver.

Despite being right at the back row and therefore about 2 miles above the stage, we absolutely loved it. I'd seen Russell play the Old Fruitmarket before and wasn't really impressed (I think I was just too boozed, to be honest), but last night I had a stupid grin on my face all the way from start to finish.

Best bits included yapping about painting elephants with tippex, knifing leprechauns under rainbows and photographing 9 year-old girls in a museum.

He did make the mistake though after the rapturous applause of taking questions from the audience, something which should just never be done in Glasgow. The questions that could be heard and translated from the mostly boozed-up crowd included little gems like "do you know what chloroform smells like?" and "fancy coming to the pub after this?".

Good ol' Glasgow!

The Holy Grail has been found!

I think we must have been skirting in and out of the list recently and may continue to do so, but I noticed yesterday that after months of painful dejection, lonely months spent languishing in the bitter wilderness of independent broadcasting, iTunes has finally listed For the Love of G...lasgow, our little tragic venture into cyberspace, as a featured comedy podcast.

Basically, it's like the Holy Grail of comedy podcasting, or at the very least "pretty cool".

So the most thankful of thanks again to all our new listeners and also to the ones who've been with us throughout, enduring our darker days when more than likely there was something much better for you to listen to.

We'd love to hear from every one of you, so keep the emails and Skype calls coming in so we can play them on the show.

The Nineteenth: "Carradined"

The Nineteenth: "Carradined".

It's Summertime. It's hot and sticky. It's our first show after a wee break and we're excited to be back. Think about David Carradine, we talk about him. Think about Air France, we start a new campaign called Get Planes Out The Sky. Think about the USA's love of heroes and truency, we talk about that. We talk about midget restaurants in Glasgow, Free Willy, Cristiano Ronaldo and more.

In fact, this episode's so full of rubbish nonsense like this that you'll be glad it's over soon. We also introduce the innovative Glaswegian duo called sixpeopleaway (www.sixpeopleaway.co.uk) and give thanks to all our new listeners - you lucky, lucky people.

Comedy is just around the corner...

It took me some time.

This weekend, after a blissful early Summer break, was spent trying to find Alan. When I did find him, he pretended he was dead. Once I got my cattle-prod out however, he admitted that he wasn't dead, and that he was just pretending because he knew what I was after.

He knew that I wanted to record another episode of the podcast.

So a bottle of Mint Baileys and a few hundred pounds later, he agreed that we'll get back into the swing of things this coming Sunday. We'll record our Nineteenth that day and hopefully it'll be available to download on Sunday, or Monday at the very latest.

Exciting stuff...

A Brand New Day

Alrighteo,

That's me settling back into the ol' claes & purridge after a few weeks vacation. I'm pleased to have come back to note that the number of wacky folks listening to the podcast has just about trebled while we've been away.

(Once again I'm hit with the thought that we're more popular when we shut our collective cakehole!)

So anyway, hello to everyone including all you new guys, and thanks for all the emails to our fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com address. I'll announce pretty soon when our 19th instalment of nonsense will be recorded and available to download, so if you've any questions you want us to answer on the show, pop us an email and I'll try my best to stop Alan from tearing it apart!

I'm off to enjoy what's bound to be our last few hours of summer sunshine in Glasgow.

O.F.F.S.K.I.

Well, I don't envy you.

I'm off on holiday until the start of June. How will you cope?

OK, so more than likely you'll cope really well. More than likely you'll prosper, turn over a new leaf, rid yourself of what our little podcast has become to you - a very large and annoying monkey on your back, a monkey who keeps soaking your ear with raspberries of saliva every two weeks.

So have a great time of it while I'm gone, while we're gone that is, given that Alan can't work a computer so couldn't do the podcast in my absence (even if he wanted to, which he doesn't).

I'll post again here when I'm back to let you know when the next episode will be out, and please feel free in the meantime to ask us any questions you want us to yap about in the show - just send your questions & comments to fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com.

And you can still catch the Eighteenth show here:

The Eighteenth: "Swine"

The Eighteenth: "Swine".

This one's a bit longer. The reason for that is down to the serious global issues which have demanded our attention over the last few weeks. Issues like Swine Flu. Issues like Mexico. Issues like Swine Flu and Mexico. So in this, our last show before a short break while Scott goes on vacation, we talk about Swine Flu. And Mexico. Have you tired of such nonsense yet? We've not!

That aside, there's also some more A-Grade Glasgow restaurant and attraction reviewing, some inspirational celebrity eulogies, and a mighty fine track from Glasgow-based songstress Andrea Heins (www.andreaheins.com). Hope you enjoy the next few weeks of pure bliss, and remember to send us some nonsense and questions to our new address at fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com!

A New Dew

Fresh back from the first Public Holiday in May, we'll be recording the next show tonight. Look forward to our take on the Swine debacle. That's all I'll say, because I'm waching last night's 24, which is much more important!

Joe Bonamassa at O2 Academy Glasgow

OMG tht ws grt...

...as they'd say in the online world of the interweb.

Last night I went with my Dad to see Joe Bonamassa rock the O2 Academy in Glasgow. Who's Joe Bonamassa? Well, despite the lack of mainstream attention, he's widely considered the most significant, and perhaps even the best, guitarist on the planet today, and that's not restricted merely to the blues music he so excels in.

Looking around the room last night, the first thing I noticed was the average age of the audience. It was older than the usual crowd at the Academy. Blues is anything but mainstream, particularly in these times, immersed as we are in a depressingly one track music industry driven by the X-Factory and a sold-out MTV. In these times, I worry that not enough new people appreciate blues music, that even more so than before, it's been pushed to one side by a myopic industry bent solely on sucking cash from a succession of homogenous hits. Despite that though, Bonamassa managed to pack out the Academy, which is testament to the bridge I hope he's beginning to build.

I'm not concerned if you don't like blues music - we all like different things - but what I will say is that if you like music, you should give Bonamassa a chance. Head over to YouTube (interesting to see an older audience last night more focussed solely on enjoying the experience and leaving only a few tragic souls to record the gig for uploading) or iTunes, have a listen and see if you get hooked on the man's unparalled speed and technique, the breathtaking solos and inspiring lyrics.

To watch him last night was to watch utter perfection, and I could have stayed there all night, and I remember a few moments when, despite the deafening noise of the appreciative crowd, there'd be a slight pause, a gasp of air right at the end of a song or a solo, kind of like did he just do that?!!

Just a magnificent night my Dad and I will remember for years to come. I'm off to snap up his new album, The Ballad of John Henry and air guitar until the air can take no more!

Yey - You can now email us...

As time goes on, the number of people downloading and lapping up our little podcasting venture into comedy cyberspace has been increasing. Increasing, that is, to a fair proportion notwithstanding that in real life, on the streets and putrid gutters of Glasgow, we remain social outcasts. We're like Ant & Dec when they tried to break the US, walking the streets without recognition but in the knowledge that somewhere else in the world, we're like Kings!

However, until now it's appeared that we've been attracting only comedy voyeurs, listeners who like to listen and laugh but remain comfortably in the darkness, away from the light of the stage and the stand-up's searching gaze.

Well, we're accepting this no more!

We want questions. We want comments. We want pictures. We want videos. We want you to start sending us all this to our new email address at fortheloveofglasgowpodcast@googlemail.com.

Gonnae just email us eh?

The Seventeenth: "Sting"

The Seventeenth: "Sting".

In our newly contact lense-free show, we celebrate Earth Day by investigating its link with Vladimir Lenin's birthday, and unsurprisingly explore the real Susan's Boil Story from Britain's Next Top Model. Alan terrifies us with his wasp sting debacle, his grocery shopping in Morrisons and his usual insightful movie and restaurant review section including the delights of Knowing and Stravaigin.

We also yap about Jedi Cops in Glasgow and arguably the best guitarist on the planet, Joe Banana Sandwich, who'll be playing the O2 Academy in Glasgow. Our Glasgow indie music of this show comes courtesy of the fantastic Shimmer (www.myspace.com/shimmeruk), and another link we ask you to check out is Kyle Murdoch's Breast Cancer Cycle of Britain at twitter.com/whitelilyfund.

New Ship of Comedy Doom on the Horizon

Fresh from a blissful break from all things Internet this last week, we're absolutely 100% raring to go now. So the Seventeenth show will be a day late.

We'll be recording on Wednesday instead of Tuesday this time, so it should be available to download on Thursday, if that makes sense. The reason for the delay is that tomorrow evening, Alan is being given a posthumous Lifetime Achievement Award for the Advancement of Scottish Comedy. The award ceremony is being held at the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall, and is being hosted by Mr. T. I'm not sure if there are any public seating tickets left for the ceremony, but did hear that they're selling pretty fast on eBay, albeit at a mark up of at least 300%.

This week in our show we'll be talking about lots of things. In the last couple of weeks there's been a great deal of conversation pieces like the G20 protestor Ian Tomlinson, the Britain's Got Non Visual Talent of Susan Boyle, and the story about Jedi Cops in Glasgow.

But we won't talk about any of that, and more than likely will focus instead on filling out the silence with loads of pointless jingles involving me destroying the American accent.

Signing Out

Just to let you know that I'm deplugging for a week. No blogs, tweets or anything connected with the World Wide Interweb.

Need to cleanse my system. Thanks again for the interest in the podcast etc., and I'll be back again soon buzzing with energy.

Peace Out!

The Sixteenth: "Poke"

The Sixteenth: "Poke".

Here we are again with a putrid pile of nonsense. There's stuff in there about Alan's worthwhile 24th birthday celebrations, a sterling review on the Damned United movie, and we trot out an exclusive statement received from National Hero Barry Ferguson. More, as always, on Alfie Patten, and continuing on our intellectual learning curve, we try to understand the reasoning behind the recent G20 protests as well as Andy Murray's stated hatred of boozing.

Finally, Alan provides a summary of the Original Easter Parable for those of our listeners going to hell, and our Glaswegian independent guest band this time around is the outstanding Casino Brag (www.myspace.com/casinobrag).

Happy Egg Rolling and Chocolate Weekend!

What connects the G20 protests with Barry Ferguson?

No doubt you'll find out tomorrow once our new episode of the podcast is uploaded.

Tonight when we record it, we intend to explore the darkly lit caverns of truth which the world's media has whimpered away from, led away like the village idiot by the comforting hand of Rupert Murdoch and his cohorts.

Tonight we will discuss nothing less than the disturbing connection between seemingly independent current events, a connection hidden in the wind from the collective consciousness, but unearthed bloodily by myself and Alan in the last few days. Yes, we're like the modern day equivalent of Woodward and Bernstein!

The G20 protests, the chaotic uprising against Barry Ferguson and Alan McGregor, the sadly mistaken tale of little Alfie Patten, and the end of Lent. Stories woven together in a transparent weave of hatred.

The truth will out. Listen in tomorrow, and for the first time in your life we'll prise open your mind to what's really going on in the world today. Oh, and there'll also be some nice music in there from Casino Brag, another one of Glasgow's finest independent bands.

So clear your diary!

Singin' on yer Mammy's Knee

Who in Scotland hasn't fallen asleep on their Mammy's knee to this one at some point in their life? I broke a tooth last week when I fell off!

A Bunch of April Fools

It's 1st April, and you know what that means don't you?

Another round of hastily thought out April Fool pranks. To be honest, I had been thinking of convincing our listeners as a joke that we were stopping the show, that our little venture into cyberspace was at an end.

I stopped myself from doing that though, because it occurred to me that if I had done that, there would likely have been a huge swell of support for the idea, and perhaps even some collective sighing of relief around the world, not least from the guy I do the podcast with - He Who Doesn't Want To Be Mentioned Or Associated With This.

So I'll be abstaining from April Fools Day, and just to spite you, will spend it instead preparing for our next show!

Please remember Alan

Happy Birthday Alan.

A tribute to this fine lad, to the tune of The Billy Boys:

Alan
Alan
He's 24 today

Alan
Alan
We hope that he's OK

Had it up to here with podcasting
Been missing since the last show

Oh Alan please come home if you're not dead.

It's a song his parents taught me last week after they'd had a family meeting. They wanted me to spread the word, in the faint hope that Alan might turn his life around, that one day he might tear himself from the streets and come home.

If you're out there mate, if you're reading this, please understand how much your parents love you, how much the listeners of the podcast love you, how much we all love you, and maybe if you understand this, you'll find your way back to happiness once more.

We're holding a vigil for you tonight lad. It's outside your flat. I'll be there with your family, together with some of your old friends from the Glasgow Tweetup, and we'll sing this song with hope in our hearts until you come back, or at least until you show us you're alive by calling the police to get us arrested.

I've lit a candle for you buddy.

Metallica rocked the SECC Glasgow

At one point James Hetfield, the lead singer of Metallica, punched his fist in the air and asked everyone who were witnessing the band for the first time to put their hand in the air.

Most of the audience put their hands in the air.

Then he asked the veterans of Metallica to do the same, those who'd followed them for years.

Most of the audience put their hands in the air.

That's Glasgow all over!

We might have a reputation for turning up to the opening of an envelope just for a drink and to let off some steam, but whatever motivated most folks to go to the Metallica gig last night at the SECC Glasgow, as far as I'm concerned, the band repayed that motivation with distinction.

I had a petrifying fear that this gig, and our undoubted fame for being one of the most fiersome audiences in the world, might have been ruined again by the number of mobile phones and cameras being held up to capture the event, all the YouTubes and Twitterettes interested more in watching than in continuing the Glasgwegian tradition of getting stuck right in and making noise.

To be honest, my fear was that I'd be embarrassed for Glasgow. But thankfully, my fear crumbled as soon as the band took the stage after Machinehead had whipped us all to a frenzy, and I found myself once again immersed in wave after never-ending wave of energy. OK, so I've no longer got the long hair, the dark soul I had in my teens, but who really cares, because for a few hours at least last night, the air guitar came back out and once again I became the Goth my parents hated.

Absolutely loved it!

The Fifteenth: "Justice"

The Fifteenth: "Justice".

As our exhilarating new intro tells you, this one's about NHS Scotland's sponsorship of Alan's Alcohol Pledge, the suspicious change in Josef Fritzl's plea, what Alan was caught doing when the Google Street Gang came a-calling, why this podcast isn't as good as another podcast we talk about, Alan and Scott going to the Michael Jackson gig dressed as Michael Jackson and Bubbles, and more, yes more nonsense along these lines.

There's also some musical interluding from Glasgow's fine outfit the Last Corinthians (www.myspace.com/thelastcorinthians), and some discussion about forthcoming Tweetups, 23rd birthdays and Godfatherdays. Oh, and it's another short one, so that's good.

What's missing in your life?

I'm guessing that it's episode 15 of the podcast.

More than likely I'm completely incorrect about that, but either way we'll be recording it tonight. Expect nothing less than another 50 minutes about Alan's Alcohol Pledge for Scotland, and some genuine insight into the privacy issues underlying the UK's new Google Maps Street View tool.

We might also yap on about Friend of the Show, Josef Fritzl.

So you've still got time to send us your comments for us to read out on the show. Just comment on this post or if you'd prefer, hit the Skype button to the right of the blog and leave us a free voicemail on our fortheloveofglasgow account.

What do you think about Google Street View?
What do you think about our Mr. Fritzl?

The new show will be available tomorrow here, on iTunes and everywhere else we've sneaked our way into. Thanks for listening

SOLD OUT - U2 Tickets Hampden Glasgow

OK, so this morning was pretty crazy.

Clicked onto Ticketmaster to buy some U2 tickets for their gig at Hampden Park Glasgow in August. This was at about 8.57am. Managed to grab some successfully. Happened to look again for more tickets just out of interest, this at about 9.04am. Sold out.

Right now I can just feel the industrial buzz of activity on eBay, as dozens of new pages begin to appear offering those not quick enough off the mark this morning another chance for tickets, this time at a hefty premium.

I wonder what it'd feel like to be Mr. Bono or Boaby the Edge at such moments. I can only imagine that it'd involve, at the very least, sitting in a jacuzzi, sipping liquid gold and being fed real-time updates on how much money is flowing in. That, and a whole lotta Guinness.

I think I'll ask them when I see them in August.

Glasgow on Google Maps Street Level

OK, so it's roasting outside in Glasgow right now, but here's me twiddling about indoors with my computer again.

Someone on Twitter just introduced me to the new (it's probably not new) street level map view on Google. Check it out on Google Maps.

I've been passing the hours therefore, going up and down the street I live on and checking out the rest of Glasgow. It really is outstanding that you can view everything now rather than from just the bird's eye view.

Going on holiday? Want to know what a walk around George Square or Sauchiehall Street would be like? Get a feel for the area instead of just flicking through some photos of it.

Superb or what?!!

That said, the only place in Glasgow that doesn't appear to be on the map is at Alan's flat. When you do a search for it there just seems to be a black space with a skull & crossbones sign over it. Not sure why though.

Tam Cowan on YouTube

I'm off to see Tam Cowan tomorrow night at the Theatre Royal in Glasgow as part of the Magners Glasgow International Comedy Festival. Here's a wee flavour of what I should expect. No doubt I'll be nicking his jokes and re-telling them (badly) in the next episode of the podcast!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I hope your plans for today involve nothing but sinking Guinness, dancing the Irish jig all day without rest, and singing at the top of your voice in the best Irish accent you can muster, because yes you guessed it, it's Saint Paddy's Day once again.

That said, Alan revealed the true history of this fine day of celebration a few shows back. Basically, if you want to celebrate the day properly, that is, in the spirit of genuine historical reflection, then the first thing you should do today is to dive into a pet shop and buy some snakes. The second thing you should do once you've bought the snakes is to release them. And the third thing you should do once you've bought the snakes and released them is to chase them about a bit.

Now, if you do that whilst at the same time sinking your Guinness, dancing the Irish jig and singing at the top of your voice in the best Irish accent you can muster, then - and only then - will you have given due deference to Big Paddy.

He'll be watching...

It's all about change these days

In the coming days and weeks you might notice a few changes in the wind, and when I say "wind", I really mean "the blog and podcast".

Just a few technical alterations to help us stretch more into cyberspace and get noticed by more humans. They don't know it yet, but we're after them. I hope they're ready.

In the meantime, we've secured another independent Glasgow music guest (The Last Corinthians) to play on our next show, which is a really exciting step on our overtly dangerous path to copy minute by minute the entire format of Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway.

I promise one day we'll get there.

The Fourteenth: "Noses"

The Fourteenth: "Noses".

This is our hotly-anticipated first ever Comic Relief Special. In it, there's stuff about Comic Relief. And about alcoholics and their red noses, which we link to Comic Relief. Alan receives some interesting charitable pledges via one of his growing number of websites dedicated to his hatred of Scott, and in this same Comic Relief spirit of violence we discuss the need for different versions of the I.R.A. and what Glaswegians might think of all the chalk outlines of bodies appearing on their streets in recent weeks.

We also introduce our first musical guest from Glasgow, the haunting Chris Flew, and give you another one of Alan's deeply insightful reviews of the Watchmen movie. Keep those pledges coming...

Our Comic Relief Special

I bet you can't wait.

Never mind Friday's packed show involving a host of "celebrities" pretending tragically to be apprentices or skilled at dancing. As you'll know by now, we've got Mr. T, and tonight we'll be recording our own Comic Relief Special Podcast. All going well, it should be available tomorrow and I'll let you know once it's up.

Be prepared to learn the real story behind Red Nose Day.

Be prepared to listen to Mr. T pity the fools who think it's all about the kids and the sick.

JUST BE PREPARED!...

The Killers at SECC Glasgow

Superb gig on Friday night.

Turned up. Had a hotdog. Tomato sauce & mustard. Watched Louis XIV tear it up as usual (although I prefer them in a smaller venue as they're not yet used to the big stage). Then watched the Killers, your man Flowers beginning to look more comfortable on stage.

And I watched the p*ss getting taken out of a guy in front of us, as he was dancing like the Bear in the Big Blue House. And then there was a technical fault when the background track stopped. And then I jumped on stage and talked about For The Love of G...lasgow. And then the crowd boo'd and I was beaten up by security staff. And then I had another hotdog. And then your man Flowers thanked the crowd for being the best in the world. And then I said "you're welcome", but he didn't hear me. And then I went home.

You know, just the usual.

Gigs in Glasgow just can't be beaten. Take away all the nonses who miss half the gig trying to catch it on their mobile phones, the YouTubes, and they'd be perfect. I've written about this before on the site. Coming up in Glasgow I've got Metallica, Joe Bonamassa, U2, Bruce Springsteen and whole load of smaller gigs in between.

This is why in these here parts they call me The Great Glaswegian Man of Music.

They don't really though.

Twittermenot!

As I suggested on Twitter yesterday, I think I've become addicted to Twittering.

The opening of TweetDeck even before the computer warms up in the morning, the tingling rush of blood when I see some @replies and DMs, during the day when I catch in the corner of my eye the little notification window that opens with every tweet, instinctively turning my head to lap up what banal tripe's being discussed, the last check on dabr on my mobile phone before I close my eyes at night.

It's turned out to be an addiction.

I've found myself thinking in 140 characters. Whenever I see anything, anything, I feel the need to tell people. The other day I had to use every little scrap of energy I had left to stop myself posting a tweet that would've humiliated me for life. It was about soup.

So as I posted on Twitter yesterday, I'm taking some time off. Initially it was supposed to be only for this weekend, but I think I'll try and extend it until at least Wednesday of next week when I hope to be uploading our new episode of the podcast.

No doubt I'll get the sweats, the tears, the delirious urge simply to click on that birdy icon. I've already been wondering whether anyone's sent me a direct message or replied to me, and how many more people are now following me. I don't think the founding fathers of Twitter understood the dire consequences of what they were doing when they created the whole thing, how much pain it would reduce so many once concentrated and driven humans to.

My plan is to overcome the addiction. This is a Twittervention. My name is Scott, and I'm a Twitterholic. I plan to cleanse myself of the need to tweet, and with the help of my growing legions of followers who I hope will understand, I will return as the man I once was. I will learn to channel my energy and focus my priorities. I will post tweets only when I need to or if I have the time. I will no longer put aside work, real world relationships, food or comic books to update my status online. I will no longer speak to people only if their name starts with @.

I have shamed myself, but I will come through this, and if you're like me, if you want to join me in this treacherous journey towards a fresh inner calm, then together we will survive. So God Bless my followers, God Bless Tweehab and God Bless the United States of America!

Easy peasy ways to donate to Comic Relief Red Nose Day 2009

How easy was that?!!

This morning I donated £1 by simply texting the word CLIMB to 88808. This number was set up by BBC Radio 1 and is in support of the epic climb of Mount Kilimanjaro by Chris Moyles, Gary Barlow and crew, which in turn has been organised to raise money for this year's Red Nose Day on 13th March.

They do all the work, I send in one little text without any need to even break sweat, and Comic Relief gets some money just like that. Easy peasy, and I recommend that you do the same, or donate some of your spare cash on the Red Nose Day Site.

Next year, we hope to be popular enough to raise some cash ourselves. That said, when I put this suggestion to Alan though, he asked if that meant we could keep the cash.

I said "No, our listeners would donate by going onto the Red Nose Day Site, and Comic Relief would get the money".

He said "Then I ain't doing it".

So I said "But what about the starving kids, the vulerable folks in the UK and abroad that would benefit from the money we raised?".

He said "Who cares about them? Charity starts at home. I'm so poor that I watch TV on my Etch-a-Sketch. I'm so poor that last week I was caught trying to use my food stamps in a candy machine. I'm so poor I hang my toilet paper out to dry. So what about me? Eh? What about people like me?".

I said "Alan, if you're that poor then Comic Relief could help you".

He said "Aye, well, ah'm no laughin'!".

I said "Well you will be on 13th March, because that's when Red Nose Day is."

He said "OK then, I think I'll watch that".

I said "Yeah, that's a good idea".

He said "Right, and how do you donate money for this Red Nose Day?".

I said "Well you would go onto the Red Nose Day Site and Comic Relief would get the money".

He said "So they'd get the money?".

I said "Yes".

He said "And we wouldn't get it?".

I said "That's right."

He said "Then I ain't doing it."...

...And the conversation went on from there really. We may come to an agreement about doing something for Comic Relief at some point before Red Nose Day 2010 therefore, and if we do we'll let you know!

Chris Flew from Glasgow

That's my subtle attempt at humour there.

As you all know, I've been getting pretty immersed in Twitter in recent weeks (if you've done so, thanks for following me in the process...if you've not, feel free by clicking the link), and as I've been learning what it all means, how it can fit into my already tragic life, I've noticed that it's opened up for me a few doors I'd have missed completely had I not been tweeting away.

A prime example is Chris Flew. Never heard of the man. But yesterday I saw him twittering away, clicked his profile link, saw he was this independent musician from Glasgow, listened to the songs he has on his site, loved them, and now here I am, yapping about him on a comedy blog.

If you like Elliott Smith (which I do) or Arab Strap (which I do), I'd thoroughly recommend that you fire on over to his website to listen to some samples, and I've also added him to my library on Last.fm you can link to from this blog. If you don't like Smith & Strap, head on over either way and you might be surprised. Like those two, Chris' music is pretty easy listening, but at the same time haunting and a little disturbed - just my kinda thang and perfect to chillax to at the end of a hard day!

For me, a real find and another example of Glasgow's unparalleled prowess in the independent music scene today. Here's hoping you agree & that he has some gigs coming up soon.

The Thirteenth: "Razzamataz"

The Thirteenth: "Razzamataz".

In our first ever 3D podcast (it's not really 3D), we start with a quickfire quiz, hurtle forwards on our Wii Fitted snowboard down the slopes of Pancake Day, Lent and Irish cops, and unusually for once, land like Scottish alcoholics on the social media kindling underneath our raging flames of humour.

Set aside everything you thought you ever knew about strip clubs and Little Alfie Patten, and listen until you can listen no more to our dazzling array of exclusive interviews with the stars after the Oscars.

And this time, more's the pity, it's entirely 'motto-free'.

New show coming soon...

We'll be recording again on Wednesday this week, so the Thirteenth should be with you on Thursday - unlucky for some, you might say.

When I say unlucky for some I mean your listeners, you might also say.

Shut yer cakehole, I might say in response.

Amongst other things, like the Ballad of Li'l Alfie Patten, we'll be taking you through the surprisingly outstanding celebrity interviews we managed to secure at the Annual Academy Awards the other night, as well as the disgusting post-Old Firm game reactions. It promises to be unmissable, unforgetable, unable.

Tune in. Puke up. Turn off. As they say.

Snowboarding, Canada, Injuries

Hey folks, my first post direct from the slopes in Canada.

I'm here learning the ropes (boy I wish I had ropes) snowboarding for the first time. Been down a few times now, fell off too many - ever seen a human snowball?!!

The view from up here's pretty breathtaking, although I can't wait for the safety of the apres-ski. Just a little bit different from good ol' Glasgow! If I survive the next couple of runs I'll try and post a photo or two, but to be honest, I'm typing this on Blogger mobile so will likely have about as much success doing that as I've been having with this whole standing on a very thin board & yielding to destiny thing!

Totally rad!!!!
(which I think is short for 'radical')

The Sky is blue once again

Further to my last blog, these Sky guys, they really know what they're doing!

One minute I've got water in my cable, the next, I'm all dry and everything's working perfectly.

Ahem...

A dark sky ahead

Maybe I didn't show enough sympathy on the last show with Alan's problems with his Sky+ TV, but whatever I did, the Lords of Sky didn't like it, and as a result my own Sky+ has been spluttering at me.

The Sky Guy's coming out to fix it. I'm readying myself for a run towards the window in case he can't fix it...

Who wants a spearmint?

Wowser!

Big plans just revealed that Glasgow's about to open a new Spearmint Rhino lap dancing club. Apparently it'll be taking over the premises at the old Truffle Club, and it's going through the steps to launch here next month.

Glasgow stopped Spearmint Rhino from opening here a few years back, but rather sneakily the club's getting in by simply transferring the licence of the Truffle Club instead of having to apply for a new one elsewhere.

As is always the case, it's caused a big hoohaa and lots of folks are getting their knickers in a twist about the detriment of women who're happy to dance for money to get them through university and so on, and the appropriateness of such a place in a City which is otherwise known for being so conservative.

So what do you think? Will we organise a For the Love of G...lasgow night out there just to see what all the fuss is about when it opens?

Just kidding of course (?!!). Given that the club's already there and has been there for years now, should it be replaced by another club of the same nature?

The Twelfth: "Massacre"

The Twelfth: "Massacre".

Beginning with a sincerely sincere apology, and then a suspiciously ghostwritten second apology, this twelfth instalment in our increasingly socially-networked series takes you through the delights of Skype, Twitter, GrantPhil Mitchell in the Taleban, Boaby Burns turning 250, an unbiased Old Firm prediction, and provides enough information for you to survive the Valentine's Day Massacre celebrations and the 81st Annual Academy Awards.

Feel free to give us a call if you think our material needs some work.

Brrrrrrrrring ring...

As I announced a wee while ago, we're now up and running with Skype. After a great deal of huffing and puffing, we also now have voicemail.

This means that at any hour of any day, you can leave us a message for us to play during our show. It could be a question you want us to answer, a message of adulation, a fact, anything you like really.

If you don't yet know about Skype however, here's what to do -

1. Click the green "leave me voicemail" button you see on the right of the blog (or click here). If you already have Skype, this will take you to your account and you can simply leave us your message for free. If you've not downloaded Skpye before, it will take you to Skype's free download page, and you'll just follow the instructions there.

2. Once you've downloaded Skype, you can make us one of your contacts by using the 'find people' button on your account, type in fortheloveofglasgow, add us as a contact and give us a call to leave your message, again for free.

3. Listen to the next show and see if we play it on air!

If you don't have an inbuilt or external microphone for your computer, just Google it and you can pick one up very cheaply (to record the show we only use a USB mic, worth less than £10!). Once you have a microphone and Skype, you can call anyone else you know with a Skype account, anywhere in the world for free, so it's worth it even just to save on the phone bill!

We're looking forward to your call!...

A wee break

Just to let you know that I'm still alive!

I've let the blogging slip of late, and that's not about to change for the next few weeks given that I'm completely under the cosh at work at the moment (priorities priorities...).

So you'll find that for a wee while I'll be reduced to twittering away instead of blogging - ah, the comfort of 140 characters! - although you'll be happy to note that on Wednesday Alan and I will be attempting to record another fantastic opus, our Twelfth Night, so if it all goes well it'll be available for download at some point on Thursday.

Thanks again for all your interest and support in the meantime, and keep letting us know your thoughts.

The Chapstick Twitter Debate

It's hotting up over on Twitter, or should I say, 'cooling down'?

Whilst all the carping, bleating and pointless posturing goes on about this snowing issue, head on over to Twitter where the real matter's being discussed -

Should a man use chapstick?
If not chapstick, what about Bostix, Blistex, Vaseline?
What about colours and flavours?

Get involved - this issue important to us all must be resolved!

Boaby Chief the Snowman

Having fought my neighbour's little kids in a snowball fight last night (I won - the ol' Headlock Snowball In The Face Move!), in our front garden Tracey and I created what could only be described as a work of art.

Yes, you may think that he looks like the snow-based equivalent of the Elephant Man, but no, you're mistaken -

He's Boaby Chief the Snowman!

It's raining. "Naw it's snow".

Snow.
Snow fell.
Snow fell heavily.
Snow fell heavily everywhere.
Snow fell heavily everywhere again.

Gritters.
Gritters dispersed.
Gritters dispersed quickly.
Gritters dispersed quickly everywhere.
Gritters dispersed quickly everywhere again.

Except in England...

...which was caught staring into the headlights once again as a result of which Scotland becomes disconnected from the world because London's airports which serve over 50% of the UK's flights and Southern England's public transport networks all fail to grasp what basic things need to be done when they see the same weather forecasts everyone else takes heed of and once again the London-centric news channels all watch the snow land on their little unprepared heads and react as quickly as the village idiot as though the world's about to end whilst the rest of the UK just gets on with it why does this happen every time it snows why is it that a nation disturbingly obsessed with weather reports crumples into a shivering wreck whenever the temperature falls below that desired for barbeques I think I know the answer it's all about the credit crunch our all powerful overlord elite who run and ruin our world enjoying not only a good weather report with its cheerful assessment of our impending turbulent doom and its pointless chatter about altocumulus castellanus but also the inane lazy journalism consistently displayed in the current economic climate that's talked us into recession so why not dictate from above that despite the imminent snowfall the gritters are to remain at the depot so that no-one can get to work and the economy continues its decline tracked with crayons by a tunnel-vision media until weary from all this weather and all these stories of financial pain we step up to the polling station and vote in the Conservatives.

I've had it. I'm off to chuck snowballs at vulnerable kids.

Glasgow goes pure Skype man

Continuing on this social networking rollercoaster, in the last week I've been working on bringing all you wacky listeners a little closer by downloading and learning all about Skype.

The long and the short of it is that we've now got a Skype account, and in a few days we'll have voicemail capability.

This means that pretty soon you'll be able to call our number if you have Skype (which is free to download) and a microphone on your computer, and leave a message which we'll be able to magically record and play during the show.

So start thinking about what you want us to yap about. Any questions, gripes about life, anything you like - at the very least, given the disaster that befell us on Tuesday for The Eleventh show, it'll mean we'll have something to fill up the time!

Once we're all up and running I'll let you all know the number to call.

Rrrrriiiiiing ring...

The Eleventh: "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism"

It took the longest proper word in the English Dictionary to describe our shortest and worst episode to date, and by happy coincidence, the same word also describes an inherited disorder in which short stature may be present.

For two hours we droned on and on about such matters as Andy Murray's chances of winning the Australian Open having been cruelly sabotaged by Chris Hoy, the sadly poetic Coronation of Barack Obama, and whether Sooty, the close friend of Prince Charles, actually looks like the famous British hand puppet called Sooty.

It wasn't pretty. At one point, we even found ourselves singing 'Cover Girl' by New Kids on the Block. So to protest against two things, the UK media's incessant urge to talk us into recession, and the mass hysteria from our baying mob of listeners who seem convinced that we're nothing but comedy machines, we decided to wipe much of what we'd recorded and leave you simply with the introductory ramblings from two tired, aimless podcasters in need of a break.

Brought to you with the greatest of apologies, if you're reading this with the benefit of the image we put up, you'll see that for one night only, in the purest of tragicomic direction, laughter has left the building.

Eyes to the right

Just to make sure you're not missing the proper bo heatspots on the blog - all the subscription bits you need have now been updated to the right, and you can click on any one your heart desires to join our tragic cult.

Aside from the blog and website, we're now on MySpace, Facebook, iTunes (and all the other big podcast & blog directories), YouTube, Twitter, CafePress (yes folks, we even have our own shop now!), Cyberlosers, WeirdosOnline, TragicGamers and pretty much everywhere you look if you're into social networking.

OK, so some of those weren't real social networks. If someone created them though, you could bet your last penny that we'd be on there in a flash!

So there's no excuse for you not to spread the good word about us or miss any of our new shows. Keep sharing the whole thing with all your little online friends, and no doubt in a few years time when we're kicking it by the pool in L.A. before heading to collect our Grammy, we'll give you a mention and thank you for all your support in those comedically-dark, early days.

My speech would begin with "Ladies and Gentlemen, this one's for Alan. I'm sure his family would be proud...".

Christmas Gravestones and The Godfather

A For the Love of G...lasgow "Comedy" Podcast Production. In our first audio picture podcast on Youtube, we discuss the Christmas presents of rope, paracetemol, headstones and the gift of life, and then act out an as yet unreleased, director's cut scene in The Godfather, with a cat. Yeah yeah, I know it's just been taken from The Tenth - whatever!

The end of Tommy Sheridan

Well, he is no more, that Tommy Sheridan.

Last night he was evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother House, admitting that he'd only entered it to pay for his ongoing Law Degree.

If you switched over from the Davina McCall interview with Scotland's true socialist leader, you would have witnessed the remaining members of the House lamenting his departure, and discussing in great detail for two and a half hours whether socialism has a place in the show.

I engaged particularly with Vern Troyer's assessment of the economic consequences of introducing a system of direct collective ownership of their weekly food budget via the formation of the Anarchic Housemates Council. At one point, Vern, a staunch libertarian marxist, challenged Coolio (real name Leon "laissez-faire" Ivey) to repeat his accusation that a centrally-planned system of budget organisation mirrored in a free market economy would best serve the interests of the House. In response, Coolio picked up Vern from the floor and threw him in the trash.

The end of a tiresome evening's debate - oor Tommy would be proud.

Inauguration Blues

Let's sing those Inauguration Blues!

It came and it went, we now have a President
Obama's his name, stumblin' oaths is his game

etc. etc.

All that colour, all the hope, the God-fearing joy in the streets, all that promise. It was quite a spectacle. But then I switched over from Friends and watched the Inauguration.

And now it's over. For some it was over as soon as they wheeled out the random poet after the oaths had been taken - 'yeah yeah, we've seen enough' - I loved the telling, professional wipe between camera shots, firstly on the poet looking whimsically down the Mall, lingering a moment before pouring from her heart the words she'd contemplated so proudly since she was asked to do the gig, and then the shot fades to the swarm of people walking in the other direction.

Who needs poetry in this day and age?

Or was the crowd's sudden urge to bolt away brought on by the President's compelling speech, the refuelled desire to get to work without delay, to fix the world as soon as possible?

My guess is that they were only there to see yer man taking office, and that once he did, they could go back to their lives on the understanding that he'll fix it all for them. Maybe I'm reading it wrong though. Maybe the world will act on his words and take responsibility for itself, and I genuinely hope it does.

Meantime however, I'll go back to singin' the blues, that old time favourite about the day the world crowned a new King, and whose first act wasn't to suspend trials in Guantanamo, no siree, but instead to chill out listening to his new Court Jesters and his podcast of choice.

Ah, the ol' Change You Can Believe In For the Love Of G...lasgow Song...

Obama, our Scottish Hero

It's been over a week now since I last hit the New Post button, following Alan's powerful, if slightly vampish, rant in the last show about the blog.

But I couldn't hold back any longer, given this momentous day in history, when Barack "Oh Dear God Alex Salmond I Know I Have Scottish Roots So Please Get Over It Because I'd Prefer To Ignore It And No I Will Not Be Attending Your Pathetic Invite To The Scottish Homecoming Dinner And Support Your Fight For Independence Because I Have More Important Things To Do Like Buy A New Dog And Run A Country" Obama is anointed as The Chosen One, The Saviour Of Us All in Washington D.C. later on today.

OK, so that was a whole load of unnecessary capital letters, but if you were to take a casual glance at every TV channel and website the world over, you'd come to understand pretty quickly that the anointing of The Chosen One has been touted as quite a big deal, big enough to push news to one side for yet another day.

Now here's a thing though - I didn't vote for the man, and I'll tell you why:

I'm Scottish.

If I wasn't Scottish however, and instead I was a True Citizen of the Americas, don't get me wrong - I'm sure I would have voted for the man. Whilst I remember the spin and subsequent illegality from the Bush and Blair Administrations, and the spin and jazzily ignored failures of the Clinton Administration, I've still a little hope left inside me that the concept of 'Change' being plastered like a father's promise on every billboard from Hollywood to Holyrood on the back of The Chosen One's election, will actually come to bear fruit all around the world.

It's just that, my gut feeling is that over the coming years, some folks might have to calm the beans about the whole thing, that, as has happened since public relation politics were first created, vomited painfully from the stomachs of weasel elitists, at some point all the shiny gloss we're desperately pawing at might begin to flake off bit by bit, exposing underneath the life we've actually been living.

Either way, arrabest big fulla - here's hoping your tenure will change us all for the better.

And hey, I think all this talk of change is already starting to have an effect on my life. Just this morning I was watching on the news the preparations for the inauguration, all those thousands of happy people descending on the Mall with sloganised fervour in their eyes, and I thought to myself, 'I wonder if Everybody Loves Raymond's on the other channel?'.

Change indeed.