The Twentieth: "Lionel"

The Twentieth: "Lionel".

To be honest, it was supposed to be called "Michael", but you'll soon see why that wouldn't have been entirely appropriate. In our first landmark show we cycle furiously through our place in the history of iTunes, our thoughts on Wacko Jacko, Farrah Fawcett and Not Dead Goldbloom, and come to rest in Wimbledon & the coronation of Sir Andy Murray.

There's also some anti-racism thrown in for giggles, a premature review of a floating Glasgow restaurant, a disappointing Take That Circus at Hampden Park, and our independent Glasgow band this time around is the fantastic Hollow Horse (www.hollowhorse.co.uk).

Happy Birthday Dad, long live Lionel Ritchie!

Good Luck Sir Andy Murray!

It's Pimm's o'clock and I'm oozing fat strawberries because it's finally here.

Wimbledon 2009. The Championships. The theatre of dreams. The roof that keeps out the rain. The players who play tennis. In Wimbledon. For prizes and money and that.

As you all know, Sir Andy Murray is a great Friend of the Show, and Alan & I would like to take this opportunity to wish him the very best of luck in this season's tournament.

Let's hope Chris Hoy doesn't conspire to ruin Sir Andy's chances once again.
Let's hope the BBC mention that he's Scottish if he wins, rather than only when he loses.
Let's hope that WHEN Sir Andy beats "Pretender to the Throne" Federer in the final, it tops last year's final as the best ever match.
Let's hope I don't lose my job for watching the whole thing on a big screen in the office, dressed head to toe in my tennis gear.
Let's hope the female players don't wear shorts again.

Let's hope...and believe!

Do you believe?

The Sixteenth: "Poke"

The Sixteenth: "Poke".

Here we are again with a putrid pile of nonsense. There's stuff in there about Alan's worthwhile 24th birthday celebrations, a sterling review on the Damned United movie, and we trot out an exclusive statement received from National Hero Barry Ferguson. More, as always, on Alfie Patten, and continuing on our intellectual learning curve, we try to understand the reasoning behind the recent G20 protests as well as Andy Murray's stated hatred of boozing.

Finally, Alan provides a summary of the Original Easter Parable for those of our listeners going to hell, and our Glaswegian independent guest band this time around is the outstanding Casino Brag (www.myspace.com/casinobrag).

Happy Egg Rolling and Chocolate Weekend!

The Eleventh: "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism"

It took the longest proper word in the English Dictionary to describe our shortest and worst episode to date, and by happy coincidence, the same word also describes an inherited disorder in which short stature may be present.

For two hours we droned on and on about such matters as Andy Murray's chances of winning the Australian Open having been cruelly sabotaged by Chris Hoy, the sadly poetic Coronation of Barack Obama, and whether Sooty, the close friend of Prince Charles, actually looks like the famous British hand puppet called Sooty.

It wasn't pretty. At one point, we even found ourselves singing 'Cover Girl' by New Kids on the Block. So to protest against two things, the UK media's incessant urge to talk us into recession, and the mass hysteria from our baying mob of listeners who seem convinced that we're nothing but comedy machines, we decided to wipe much of what we'd recorded and leave you simply with the introductory ramblings from two tired, aimless podcasters in need of a break.

Brought to you with the greatest of apologies, if you're reading this with the benefit of the image we put up, you'll see that for one night only, in the purest of tragicomic direction, laughter has left the building.