T.T.F.N.

Ta ta for now (that's what T.T.F.N. stands for).

I'm signing off for 2008 today, given that no doubt I'll be too busy with all the wacky japes and scrapes over Christmas to write anything legible in English. We might squeeze in a show before Hogmanay but I thought it best to tie things up now just in case.

Alan and I can't thank you enough for all your interest, support, encouragement and comments since we started our little venture in August. Since we started we've already had thousands of downloads and have even started building a wee community here and on Facebook & MySpace, a community which we hope to strengthen to a healthy proportion next year.

So 2009 promises to be at least a half decent year for the podcast. I'll be looking to blog a bit more and dupe a serious number of blog-likin' folks over here to comment, although I readily accept that having read all the comments by the blog-likin' folks I've duped to come over and comment, Alan will no doubt begin to rue the day he agreed to join in with this whole debacle (if he hasn't already, that is).

Have a great festive break on us therefore, and unless we do manage to scoop out for you another bucketful of dry, putridly hungover comedy before the year's out, we'll see you again in '09, which we hope of course will become known, mainly as a result of our sterling efforts, as The Year The Laughter Stopped.

Yours aye...

It's all in the list

I wonder who devised the first Top Ten List.

My gut feeling is that whoever did write the first one, well, it was probably written during the formative years of Mesopotamia, the earliest known complex civilisation thousands of years B (Before) C (The Big Man).

So that's way before the Ten Commandments, and even more way before I started writing to Santa Claus.

It could have been a list of laws, of people, maybe of groceries. It could have contained any number of things, well, 10 things in any event. It could even have just represented the only 10 words in the written language that existed at the time.

Either way, the Top Ten List has its place in history. Since the first, many have been written, debated, fought over. It's become quite important really, and if the world needs anything in these credit-crunched, axis-of-evilled, environmentally-doomed times, it's the ability to collect what we know or what we want into a list, something that can be ticked off to make us feel a little safer.

It's all in the list.

As we near the demise of 2008 therefore, I've been mulling over my own Top Ten List, and how you can look at the year in any number of ways.

For example, here's one way:

1. Holiday to Portugal was cancelled.
2. Car rolled into Loch Lomond and was written off.
3. Our other car coughed and spluttered and we had to cough and splutter up £1,300 to fix it.
4. Oven broke, had to buy a new one.
5. Boiler took a turn for the worse.
6. Fridge/Freezer met an untimely death, as did the contents.
7. Our satellite TV took on a mind of its own and now works whenever it feels like it.
8. As with most of you out there, money's been tighter than usual this year.
9. I've never been busier at work.
10. The weather's been nothing but pants for most of the year.

But then, here's another:

1. Ourselves, our family & friends are healthy and, for the most part, happy.
2. We've enjoyed a busier and more enjoyable social life than ever.
3. We've managed to get away on a few holidays, despite one having been cancelled.
4. The website's pulling in thousands of visitors a month & increasing all the time, even though I've had hardly any time to write on it.
5. We started the podcast and again have attracted thousands of listeners already, with the Facebook and MySpace sites growing every day (remember to join if you've not done so already).
6. I've never been busier at work!
7. We saw our mates getting married in Andalucia.
8. With all the things in the other list, has come some great stories to tell.
9. We've had some great Christmas lunches & dinners already and the big one's still to come.
10. Having enjoyed a packed year we've a superb 2009 to look forward to.

So like I say, it's all in the list, and it's up to you to choose what to put in it.

I couldn't tell you who wrote the first Top Ten List, or even the second, but what I can tell you is that I can't wait to see what next year's will include.

(hopefully something a bit more amusing, you might say...)

Hinterland Festival Glasgow 2009

The first 30 bands have just been announced in the line up for the new Hinterland Festival in Glasgow next year.

85 Bears, Brother Louis Collective, Come on Gang!, Copy Haho, Dananananaykroyd, Edie Sedgwick, Fangs, Findo Gask, Galchen, Geordi La Force, Hudson Mohawke, Isosceles, Lesser Panda, Manda Rin, Micachu, Mitchell Museum, My Tiger My Timing, Oh, Atoms, Pearl & the Puppets, Pulled Apart By Horses, Punch & The Apostles, Tommy Reilly, Remember Remember, Rustie, The Xcerts, These Monsters, Three Trapped Tigers, We Have Band, We Were Promised Jetpacks, and Zoey Van Goeyc.

Head over to hinterlandfestival.com to get your single ticket that'll get you into any of the events. It's promising to be yet another fantastic addition to next year's calendar.

Isn't a hinterland the inland region lying behind a port though? - I'm sure someone's got an explanation about what all this has to do with the Glasgow music scene...

The Ninth: "Jesuses"

The Ninth: "Jesuses".

In what proves to be a difficult Christmas show for Alan who sits in mourning for his dead fish, we try to cheer him up by reminding him about all the festive parties and Carol Vorderman singing in Glasgow this Yuletide. We also cram in some new features introducing the Broons and a breathtaking 30 second newsround, we start a campaign to rid Chris Hoy of his BBC Sports Personality of the Year award, and wonder why Al the crazy Shi'ite reporter didn't throw a third shoe at George Bush. All such nonsense is put to one side however, when Alan tells us his full-proof plan to win Deal or No Deal.

Happy Christmas everyone, and we hope to be in your ears again before the year is out. And remember Alan's promise if we get to 100 members in our Facebook Group - FIRE IT OVER to all your friends and let's see what happens.

Recordarama

We'll be recording The Ninth tonight, comedy-permitting.

Thanks and welcome to all the new members of our Facebook Group and MySpace page - we're beginning to think that other people might have at least a passing interest in what we're up to here, and that can only be a dangerous state of mind for us to be in.

World domination awaits us...

I want a car for Christmas

So we had our work Christmas do on Friday. It was at the Cruin restaurant on the shores of Loch Lomond. The very same place my car rolled itself into the water a few months back.

Someone asked the DJ to play a special request song for me.

I was asked to stand up as the restaurant was told the story, and then he played Cars by Gary Newman.

Embarrassing.

Christmas Listless

I'm just back from a few days off work.

During those days, for want of a better way to put it, all I'll say is that my inners became, at least temporarily, my outers.

It wisnae pretty.

I've taken the view that it was just my system getting itself ready for the implosion of festive indulgence that's been gathering force over the last few weeks. Putting Hogmanay to one side, I've counted that I'll be plying myself with Christmas dinners on no less than six times this year. Turkey and trimmings every time, of course.

Does anyone have some milk to line my stomach?