The Tenth: "Resolutions"

The Tenth: "Resolutions".

In this, our tenth and, for the first time ever, unedited conversation about life and death, we welcome in 2009 after everyone else has already moved on.

Topics covered include how we celebrated the celebrations of Christmas and Hogmanay, Mr Matey bubble baths, the birth of Mrs. Santa Claus Jesus of Nazareth, the true identities of the Celebrity Big Brother contestants, our slightly disturbing resolutions for the New Year, and Scott's dad skating on thin ice. There's also an all-encompassing Quiz of 2008 thrown in together with some wacky new features, so Happy New Year to all of our good-looking listeners and keep on truckin.

T.T.F.N.

Ta ta for now (that's what T.T.F.N. stands for).

I'm signing off for 2008 today, given that no doubt I'll be too busy with all the wacky japes and scrapes over Christmas to write anything legible in English. We might squeeze in a show before Hogmanay but I thought it best to tie things up now just in case.

Alan and I can't thank you enough for all your interest, support, encouragement and comments since we started our little venture in August. Since we started we've already had thousands of downloads and have even started building a wee community here and on Facebook & MySpace, a community which we hope to strengthen to a healthy proportion next year.

So 2009 promises to be at least a half decent year for the podcast. I'll be looking to blog a bit more and dupe a serious number of blog-likin' folks over here to comment, although I readily accept that having read all the comments by the blog-likin' folks I've duped to come over and comment, Alan will no doubt begin to rue the day he agreed to join in with this whole debacle (if he hasn't already, that is).

Have a great festive break on us therefore, and unless we do manage to scoop out for you another bucketful of dry, putridly hungover comedy before the year's out, we'll see you again in '09, which we hope of course will become known, mainly as a result of our sterling efforts, as The Year The Laughter Stopped.

Yours aye...

The Ninth: "Jesuses"

The Ninth: "Jesuses".

In what proves to be a difficult Christmas show for Alan who sits in mourning for his dead fish, we try to cheer him up by reminding him about all the festive parties and Carol Vorderman singing in Glasgow this Yuletide. We also cram in some new features introducing the Broons and a breathtaking 30 second newsround, we start a campaign to rid Chris Hoy of his BBC Sports Personality of the Year award, and wonder why Al the crazy Shi'ite reporter didn't throw a third shoe at George Bush. All such nonsense is put to one side however, when Alan tells us his full-proof plan to win Deal or No Deal.

Happy Christmas everyone, and we hope to be in your ears again before the year is out. And remember Alan's promise if we get to 100 members in our Facebook Group - FIRE IT OVER to all your friends and let's see what happens.

I want a car for Christmas

So we had our work Christmas do on Friday. It was at the Cruin restaurant on the shores of Loch Lomond. The very same place my car rolled itself into the water a few months back.

Someone asked the DJ to play a special request song for me.

I was asked to stand up as the restaurant was told the story, and then he played Cars by Gary Newman.

Embarrassing.

Christmas Listless

I'm just back from a few days off work.

During those days, for want of a better way to put it, all I'll say is that my inners became, at least temporarily, my outers.

It wisnae pretty.

I've taken the view that it was just my system getting itself ready for the implosion of festive indulgence that's been gathering force over the last few weeks. Putting Hogmanay to one side, I've counted that I'll be plying myself with Christmas dinners on no less than six times this year. Turkey and trimmings every time, of course.

Does anyone have some milk to line my stomach?

A friend for Christmas

Hello there.

You can find me in a quiet corner of George Square in Glasgow. It's a great place really, everyone's having so much fun with the ice rink, the big stage with all the happy music, all the wee stalls selling roasting chestnuts and Festive stuff like that, and the carnival rides that make my eyes go all dizzy just looking at them!

I'm a bit shy with all this excitement though, and it's been quite difficult getting to speak to anyone. People just pass me by and take my picture, so if I'm feeling a bit self-conscious I'll usually try and hide behind my favourite tree.

It would be quite nice if someone stopped and had a chat with me, but I don't want to worry anybody. I just think it'd be brilliant if I had a little friend, even if just for Christmas.