The Sixteenth: "Poke"

The Sixteenth: "Poke".

Here we are again with a putrid pile of nonsense. There's stuff in there about Alan's worthwhile 24th birthday celebrations, a sterling review on the Damned United movie, and we trot out an exclusive statement received from National Hero Barry Ferguson. More, as always, on Alfie Patten, and continuing on our intellectual learning curve, we try to understand the reasoning behind the recent G20 protests as well as Andy Murray's stated hatred of boozing.

Finally, Alan provides a summary of the Original Easter Parable for those of our listeners going to hell, and our Glaswegian independent guest band this time around is the outstanding Casino Brag (www.myspace.com/casinobrag).

Happy Egg Rolling and Chocolate Weekend!

What connects the G20 protests with Barry Ferguson?

No doubt you'll find out tomorrow once our new episode of the podcast is uploaded.

Tonight when we record it, we intend to explore the darkly lit caverns of truth which the world's media has whimpered away from, led away like the village idiot by the comforting hand of Rupert Murdoch and his cohorts.

Tonight we will discuss nothing less than the disturbing connection between seemingly independent current events, a connection hidden in the wind from the collective consciousness, but unearthed bloodily by myself and Alan in the last few days. Yes, we're like the modern day equivalent of Woodward and Bernstein!

The G20 protests, the chaotic uprising against Barry Ferguson and Alan McGregor, the sadly mistaken tale of little Alfie Patten, and the end of Lent. Stories woven together in a transparent weave of hatred.

The truth will out. Listen in tomorrow, and for the first time in your life we'll prise open your mind to what's really going on in the world today. Oh, and there'll also be some nice music in there from Casino Brag, another one of Glasgow's finest independent bands.

So clear your diary!

The Thirteenth: "Razzamataz"

The Thirteenth: "Razzamataz".

In our first ever 3D podcast (it's not really 3D), we start with a quickfire quiz, hurtle forwards on our Wii Fitted snowboard down the slopes of Pancake Day, Lent and Irish cops, and unusually for once, land like Scottish alcoholics on the social media kindling underneath our raging flames of humour.

Set aside everything you thought you ever knew about strip clubs and Little Alfie Patten, and listen until you can listen no more to our dazzling array of exclusive interviews with the stars after the Oscars.

And this time, more's the pity, it's entirely 'motto-free'.

New show coming soon...

We'll be recording again on Wednesday this week, so the Thirteenth should be with you on Thursday - unlucky for some, you might say.

When I say unlucky for some I mean your listeners, you might also say.

Shut yer cakehole, I might say in response.

Amongst other things, like the Ballad of Li'l Alfie Patten, we'll be taking you through the surprisingly outstanding celebrity interviews we managed to secure at the Annual Academy Awards the other night, as well as the disgusting post-Old Firm game reactions. It promises to be unmissable, unforgetable, unable.

Tune in. Puke up. Turn off. As they say.